My Version of Cyberchase
by E. Villain
Summary: Prepare yourself for everyone being turned into supermodels that basically just have sex one each other in later chapters anyway . Super old, the writing gets better. It's fun, I promise. still active, though not often
1. Chapter one

_**My Version of Cyberchase**_

(Be afraid, be very, VERY afraid.)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Cyberchase because if I did it would not be as childish as it is now. Read and find out what I mean.

* * *

"Whoa...I am SO high..." said Matt as he slumped down in his chair.

"I know. In't it great?" said his friend Tom. Both put their joints in their mouths and inhaled deeply.

"Isn't this stuff, like, dangerous?"

"Nah, the government just says that cuz they know it makes us feel good and they want to control us. But you see, man, they can't control us when we smoke pot, man, cuz it sets out minds _free_."

"Ooooh," Matt inspected his joint, "Can't you get addicted to this stuff?"

"Psh, I dunno. I've been doin' it for two years and I haven't gotten addicted," his other friend piped up, "I mean, besides the constant need to have some I'm perfectly find."

"Ya mean 'fine'."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I said...fine...yea..."

"'Yeah' has an 'h', man."

"Right, I mean yeah..."

"We are so trashed," said Tom.

"Yeah, in't it great?"

"Dude, I just said that."

"Oh..."

All three of them sat in silence. Suddenly a huge, pink, swirling vortex appeared in the middle of the table. All three looked up at it.

"What the hell?" said Matt.

"Dude, maybe it's, like, a portal to another dimension..." said Mark.

"Dude, I think you're right," said Tom.

Just then, a purple hand rose out of the middle and grabbed Matt by the shirt.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yelled. The hand began to pull him in.

"Hey, dude, go with the flow. Be sure to bring back some space prostitutes," said Mark.

"That goes double for me. I haven't gotten any tail in a long time. I'm starting to feel like I'll never get laid again," said Tom.

"FUCK, GUYS! HELP ME!" Matt screamed, he was struggling against the purple hand.

"Dude, with what?"

"I DON'T KNOW! GRAB MY HAND!" he reached out.

"Man, I'm not going all the way over there. You're on your own."

"FUCK YO—" he was gone. The pink vortex disappeared.

"What was all that about?" asked Mark.

"I dunno, but I think I'm going to pass out now."

"Yeah, me too."

Matt fell onto a hard tiled floor. He saw his reflection and just sat there in the fetal position staring at his own face.

"Um, what is he doing?" he heard a female voice ask from behind him.

"I don't know," he heard a another female voice say, "Damn, them white boys got some SERIOUS issues."

"I think he's high," he heard a male voice say.

Matt wasn't paying attention to them, though, instead he was focusing on his face. _Whoa_, he thought, _my face is so...there_. He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. It seemed more...far away than usual. I was almost like he was in some type of warehouse. Or some type of space station. A girl's face appeared above his own and he stared at it, it being the only thing moving within sight. She wore rectangular-shaped glasses and had short, brown hair that was pushed behind her ears.

Another face appeared above his, a purple face. The purple man smiled down at him, "Hi," he said.

Matt squinted at him, "Dude, you totally have pointy ears and wings."

"Uh, yeah, I think I do. Very perceptive."

"Dude, speak English."

The girl rolled her eyes, "Marijuana. Out of all the boys in all the countries, you had to pick this one. I'm sure there was one a lot more capable."

The purple man shrugged, "Hey, he was fine yesterday. I think he was just experimenting."

Another face appeared above his, she was African-American and wore her hair in braids with extensions to make them longer. "Tsk, Tsk. Your boy's been smokin' pot."

"I believe we've already established that," said the other girl.

"Whatever. I think you might be wantin' to get yourself another hero."

"I concur."

The purple man looked up at them, "No can do, the threat is too immediate."

"Well, we can't have him incapacitated. We need to find some way to wake him up."

"Here, help me get him on the couch over there."

The purple man and the girl with the glasses lifted him up by his arms and wrapped them around their shoulders.

"No need, I'm perfectly fine," said Matt.

"No you're not," said the girl.

"Yeah I am. Honestly, I didn't smoke that much. Just get me a cup of coffee and I'll be fine."

The purple man shrugged, "Okay," he let go and so did the girl. Matt wavered a bit, but found his footing and stood firmly. He looked around the room. It was like the deck of a spaceship or space station with all of the panels with glowing buttons on them. He looked to the far wall. It wasn't really a wall so much as a really big window. The stars outside were still which told Matt that they weren't moving, meaning they were in a space station.

"I'm back," he heard the man say. He turned around to be greeted by a wave of shockingly cold water.

"HOLY FUCK! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Matt yelled.

"I think he's better now," said the purple man.

Matt glared at him, "Thank you so much. I really needed to be splashed with a bucket of cold water. What happened to the coffee?"

"Oh, here you go," he handed Matt a steaming cup of brown liquid. He smelled it.

"This doesn't smell much like coffee."

"Well, technically it's not. See, we don't have coffee around here so I had to improvise."

Matt scrunched his nose, "I see."

"Now, if we're all good and ready I think it's time for introductions."

The girl with the glasses stepped forward, "I'm Inez," she said, "And you are?"

Matt blinked, "Um...I'm Matt."

"Yeah," said the other girl, "And I'm Jackie."

The purple man smiled, "And I am your humble leader Digit."

"There's two things wrong with that," the four of them turned around to face the person that spoke. It was a tall man with long blonde hair tied in a ponytail. He was wearing a lab coat with nothing underneath but a black thong that was very becoming. He wore a pair of designer sunglasses and a wide-rimmed hat placed beautifully atop his gorgeous head. "One, you are by no means humble. Two, you're not the leader. If anyone is around here, It's Motherboard."

Digit scowled, "That's Dr. Marbles. You might want to keep that lab coat closed in front of the earth kids, you might scar them."

"Oh, shut up you insolent pigeon. I made you, I can _un_make you. Got that?"

Digit smiled and pointed past Dr. Marbles at a large, floating, foggy, glass sphere, "And that behind Marbles is Motherboard."

"_That's_ motherboard?" asked Jackie.

"Yes."

"_I'M SORRY FOR MY APPEARANCE, CHILDREN_," said a heavenly voice that echoed around the room, "_I'M AFRAID THAT IS WHY I'VE CALLED YOU THREE HERE_."

"What do you mean?" asked Matt.

As if in response, the large screen above Motherboard sprang to life with an image of a green man with a long black coat and long black hair. He was, quite honestly, hot as hell. "_THIS IS HACKER, THE REASON FOR MY CURRENT FORM. A FEW MONTHS BACK HE INFECTED ME WITH A COMPUTER VIRUS THAT REDUCED ME TO NOTHING BUT THE THIN FOG YOU SEE BEFORE YOU. UNFORTUANELY IT'S GETTING WORSE EVERY DAY. DR. MARBLES DOES WHAT HE CAN TO HELP, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT EVENTUALLY I'LL DISAPPEAR LEAVING CYBERSPACE OPEN FOR HACKER'S ATTACK. I'VE CALLED YOU THREE HERE TO HELP STOP HIM AND RETRIEVE THE ANTIDOTE BEFORE I'M GONE FOREVER. PLEASE, WILL YOU HELP?_"

"I'll help," said Matt, "It's not like I have anything better to do." Although Motherboard had no face to smile with, Matt felt a sudden warmness inside that told him he had pleased her.

"I shall do what I can," said Inez, she bowed her head slightly.

The four of them turned to Jackie who had, up until now, said nothing, "What y'all lookin' at me for? I ain't joinin' no pansy-ass team. _I've_ got a nail appointment at five."

"_PLEASE, NO TIME WILL PASS IN YOUR WORLD WHILE YOU DWELL IN OUR REALM._"

Jackie bit her lip, "A'ight, I'm cool."

"_THANK YOU ALL, AND ALTHOUGH I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME TIME TO ABOSRB WHAT I HAVE TOLD YOU, I'M AFRAID I MUST ASK YOU TO BEGIN NOW._"

"As you wish, Motherboard." said Digit.

* * *

So what did you think? Screwy, huh? I'm not going to continue if no one wants me to because then it's just a waste of both our time so I'd like feedback before I continue.


	2. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part One

I appreaciate the comments. They make me happy! And no, I don't hate you, lightening816.

* * *

"What's this place called?" asked Matt as they stepped out form the swirling, pink vortex of doom. They were standing in the middle of a desert looking over a horizon of absolutely nothing.

"Sensible Flats," said Digit. He turned around and pointed in the opposite direction. The three kids followed suit. There was a town behind them.

"If it's so sensible then why is it in the middle of the desert?" asked Jack as she put her braids in a bun, "It's fucking hot."

Digit nodded, "That's why we're here. You see, there are two problems. One, the water supply that kept Sensible flats green in the first place has dried up. Second, Hacker's here buying out every building in town from people who are leaving. _Somehow_ I think those two might be connected."

"That doesn't make any sense..." said Inez.

"What doesn't?"

"Hacker infected Motherboard with a virus, right?"

"Yeah."

"And Motherboard is the ruler of Cyberspace, right?"

"Yeah."

"So infecting her was basically treason, right?"

"Yeah."

"So why hasn't Hacker been arrested."

"He was a while back. He was exiled to The Northern Frontier."

"But...he's here."

"Yes."

"Creating a monopoly."

"Yes."

"I'm not sure I'm quite understanding. You're saying he was exiled...and yet he's here and no one's arresting him. Do I have this right?"

"You do."

"Does that seem right to you?"

"Nope."

"But...why won't anyone arrest him."

"Because."

"But—"

"Look, kid, don't read too far into these things, you'll hurt yourself. All you need to know is that we have to try and stop him."

"I just don't understand..."

"You don't need to. Let's go."

The four of them made their way to the town to figure out what was going on. As they passed the threshold of the gate, a stereotypical tumble weed tumbled its way down the deserted dirt road. It looked like a shot from an old western.

A covered wagon strolled sullenly past them as the four cybersoldiers made their way to the only building that wasn't boarded up. A saloon. Upon entry, they were shocked to find the place still running. There was a bartender behind the bar, dancers on the stage, a man at the piano pounding out a jolly tune and customers at the tables. Very few, mind you, but they were there all the same. They walked in letting the slited half-doors flap shut. Digit walked up to the bar raising his hand slightly to get the bartender's attention.

The large, surly man stalked over to them, "What can I get ya?" he asked in a non-threatening tone. Digit was somewhat taken aback seeing as, from the man's size and look, he expected a low, raspy voice like a retired wrestler who's been smoking since he was twelve.

"Um, nothing thank you. We're actually here about the water problem."

"Well," the man sighed, "I'm 'fraid I wouldn't be much help to you there. I just keep my head down and do my job so's you could probably guess I don' know much 'bout those types of issues. But what I _do_ know is what I over hear the customers talkin' 'bout and lately the one word you be hearing is _Hacker_," he paused to pour a customer another drink.

"And?" urged Digit.

"Well, bein' me I'd probably mess up the information. You'd be wanted to talk to the Lady."

"Where can we find her?"

"Back there," he pointed with his thumb over his shoulder to a pair of slited doors on the far wall, "But I don't think she's wanted to talk to anybody right now."

Digit took his eyes from the man to stare at the door, "We're agents of Motherboard. I don't think she'll mind. We here to investigate odd goings on in this town."

The man grunted, "Agents o' Motherboard, eh? No, I don't suppose she would mind. Poor woman's been workin' day an' night to find a way to kick Hacker outa here."

"Um, did anyone think of _arresting _him?" asked Inez in an irritated tone.

"Arrest? That man? No way they could hold 'im."

"See there," said Digit to Inez, "You got your answer."

"That's bullshit. I bet they could keep him under control if they just chained him up and put him in solitary confinement."

They all just looked as her, "So can we go see her?" asked Digit as he turned back to the bartender.

"Sure, go right ahead."

Digit thanked the man and the four of them headed to the back of the room. Matt looked around him at all of the people, "Wow, there's a lot of hotty in here," he said.

Inez smacked him on the back of his head, "Don't be disrespectful."

"Dude!" he yelled rubbing his head, "I'm a _guy_, it's my job to be disrespectful."

"No it's not, that's just a petty excuse. You're a disgrace to your gender."

"Fuck off!"

"Fuck you!"

"Hey!" yelled Digit, "If you two don't stop right now I'm leaving you out in the desert and you're going to stay there until it's time to go home. Understand?"

"Yes," said Matt.

"Don't patronize me," said Inez.

"_Understand_?"

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"Good, now let's go."

They pushed past the swinging doors into a small, dusty office. There were a few bookshelves, an oriental rug, a globe, a brass floor lamp and a large desk with a red leather chair behind it. Sitting in the chair was woman with milky white skin and long, black, wavy hair tied in a bun above her head. It was adorned with red feathers. She was wearing one of those stereotypical red whore dresses from those western movies and knee-high black leather boots. She was, to put it bluntly, hot.

"Try to keep your mouth closed," Jackie whispered to Matt when they entered, "She doesn't need your saliva all over her oriental rug."

Matt raised an eyebrow, "I don't think you'll be needing to worry about that."

Jackie shrugged.

"Well, well, if it isn't my favorite android. How are things going for you, Digit?" she asked in a soft southern accent.

"Hello, Darlene, I'm here investigating the sketchy operations going on in this town."

"You mean the water dryin' up?"

"Yes, that, but also the thing with Hacker."

"Well, Hacker's been buyin' up every building from every resident that's leavin'. On account of the drout, that is. If this keeps up, Hacker'll own this here town."

"Why doesn't the sheriff just arrest him?" asked Inez.

"Honey, I _am_ the sheriff," Darlene pulled a gold star out of the desk drawer and put it down on the table, "and he ain't doing nothin' wrong so technically I can't arrest him."

"But aren't monopolies illegal?"

"Not around here they ain't."

"But what about Motherboard? Everyone knows he's the one that infected her."

"Terrible thing, yes, but there still ain't nothing I can do about it. I'm sorry, sugar."

Inez sighed and resigned herself to the fact that no one was thinking sensibly in Sensible Flats.

"Are you planning to stop him?" Darlene asked Digit.

"That's why we're here," he replied.

"If you did somehow help us in this, I'd be so grateful to all of you," she stood up, "There's not much I can offer by way of money, though."

"Don't worry about it. We're here to help."

"Thank you. You know, we've got some nice girls that could compensate you nicely," she looked past Digit to the three earth children, "And guys."

Digit laughed weakly in an embarrassed sort of way, "That really wouldn't be necessary. Besides," he lowered his voice, "I don't think my superiors would approve."

"Nonsense. Ya'll come back here when everything's all good and done and I'll set you up for a good night's sleep," she winked, "We should probably have a little chat with my sister down at the courthouse. Follow me."

Matt was almost in tears, "God, I love Cyberspace."

Inez rolled her eyes, "Come on, let's go." They followed Darlene out.

* * *

That's it for now! Please continue to read. 


	3. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Two

Okay, so I know it took a while, but I finally have it...well...part of it.

* * *

Another Author Note:

Okay, so I know these are getting annoying, but they are absolutely necessary. Don't worry, they will only be spotting the beginning.

Now, before I proceed with the story I must let you know about two more things. One: In the previous chapter I named one of the characters "Darlene". Now, I am aware that the real names are Judy and Trudy, but when I wrote the last chapter it honestly didn't occur to me. Hell, I can't even remember which is which. It's been so long since I've actually sat down and watched the show with my hectic schedule and all.

Two: One of my oh-so-lovely commenters hinted that they weren't a big cursing and sex fan. Now, I can understand this but anyone that wishes to read on must know this now even though I have, in one way or another, told you this already. This I _purely_ for sex, violence and cursing so if you don't like it, then...well, that's you're opinion, but I'd like it if you DO choose to read that you not scream and shout at me (even though I know no one has done that as of yet, I'm just warning everyone).

Also, in relation to the last thing, there are a LOT of odd pairings that you may or may not have thought about and/or agree with; half to most of them being of the homosexual persuasion of both males and females. Again, don't like it, don't read. I hate listing the pairings that will eventually surface in some way or another because I like those things to be a surprise and...well...I just don't like doing it so prepare yourself for anything that may make you feel uncomfortable.

P.S. – **THIS STORY DIVERGES FROM THE ACTUAL STORY IN SUCH A WAY THAT MAY SEEM DISTRUBING TO SOME. HONESTLY, THIS IS _LOOSELY_ BASED ON THE SHOW. _LOOSELY!_**

P.P.S – I'm going to attempt to use the names Judy and Trudy so tell me if I got them mixed up, because I really can't remember.

Now, back to the story.

* * *

The five of them walked down the dusty roads of Sensible Flats until they came to a large building. It was kind of strange to see a white marble building in the middle of a earth-toned, western village. The classic statue of a scales was standing out front signifying blind justice, but with a twist. Everything in Cyberspace was twisted in one way or another. It was a woman standing on one foot with a blindfold looking away from the set of scales she was holding. Her hair was tied in a bun and she had wings stretching out from her back. The unoccupied hand resting against her chest in a delicate manner.

"Extravagant," noted Inez as her eyes lingered on the towering columns of the courthouse.

"It is," said Trudy, "We at Sensible Flats believe very strongly in proper justice."

"It kind of breaks the scene, though," said Matt thoughtfully.

"Perhaps, but it _is _a structure of genius."

"Won't argue with that," said Digit.

They made their way through the large silver doors and into the largest courthouse they had ever seen in their entire lives. There were rows and rows of seats spanning to the left and right of the small group with a wide isle going down the middle. The floor was made was made of large squares of flint separated by silver strips. As they approached the bench, they pushed open the mahogany gate.

There was a woman sitting in the judge's seat , but it was hard to see her face because she was holding up a newspaper. She had her bare, stalkinged feet propped up on the judge's desk in front of her.

"Halt!" she said. They stopped in their tracks, "Who approaches?"

"It's me, Judy, and I've brought some friends. They're agents of Motherboard," said Trudy.

Silence. "Come forward."

As they did the woman took her feet off of the desk and folded up her newspaper. She was beautiful. She had silver, curly hair that reached her shoulder blades and cold, gray eyes. She wore blue lipstick and her face was completely white. Her long, black robes really stood out against her overall cool-toned features.

"Agents of Motherboard, huh?" she asked rhetorically.

Digit stepped forward. "Hey, Judy. It's been a while hasn't it?"

Judy's eyes became slits and her pupils tightened as he approached. She grabbed the large, heavy book that was sitting next her entitled _Rules, Laws and Codes: Sensible Flats_ and promptly threw it at him.

"Fuck!" he yelled, "What was that for!"

"Digit Raven Malone, how _dare_ you show your face around me!"

"Look, I'm sorry—"

"Tell that to my gun! Now you meet your doom!" she said. She pulled out a sawed-off shotgun from beneath the desk and aimed. Without a moment's hesitation she fired hitting him square in the shoulder.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhoooh. Ow," said Digit as he inspected the well-aimed shot, "Thanks a lot, Jude, I really _needed_ a gunshot wound."

Judy reloaded, "It could be seen that way," she aimed again and fired, but this time he jumped out of the way.

"Hey! Stop! Won't you even listen to me!"

She reloaded, "Nope," she fired again missing him again.

"Judy, wait!" yelled Trudy, but she wouldn't listen.

Judy fired three more times before stopping.

"Finally," said Digit, "So now are you willing to hear me out?"

"No," said Judy sighing, "I ran out of ammo. Ever since that convenience store owner left, I've had no place to restock."

"What did you do to piss her off?" asked Jackie.

Digit rubbed the back of his neck, "Well the thing is—"

"No '_things_', what's your business here? Tell me so you can get the hell out."

"Judy, these people are here to help with our little Hacker problem," said Trudy.

"Damn bastard. He killed my kitten."

The Earth kids stared in horror, "He _killed_ your _kitten_?"

Judy leaned back in her chair as if bored, "No."

There was an awkward stagnant silence where they all just looked at one another.

"Um..._okay_," said Inez, "Well, what are we going to do about Hacker."

"My plan was to kill him," said Judy.

"And you're the judge?" asked Matt in baffled disbelief.

Judy raised an eyebrow, "Is there some reason why I shouldn't be?"

"She _is_ an excellent judge. She's very fair in trials," said Digit. Judy glared at him and he shut up.

Trudy leaned in, "It's just that her ADD tends to kick in whenever she's not reviewing a case," she said so that Judy couldn't hear her.

"Or insanity," whispered Jackie.

"That too."

"So what _are_ we going to do about the Hacker thing?" asked Matt, "Don't tell me you were going to let him take over Sensible Flats."

Judy stood up and put a fist to her chest, "By the gods, I will never let Hacker have my beloved courthouse. Even if it costs my digital life to do so."

"Relax, Jude," said Trudy, "The only reason Hacker has the upper hand in this is because of the water shortage."

"Well, where do you store the water? Perhaps we should start there for clues," said Inez.

Trudy nodded, "Alright. This way."

* * *

That's it for now. I'm having some writer's block so I decided to put what I had up so as not to keep you waiting. I hope to clear my head soon. Please review! 


	4. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Three

Hallo, hallo there friends. I know, it took a while, but I haven't been writing much of anything. This stupid writer's block has been bugging the hell out of me. Okay, so this next chapter is REALLY short, but I thought I'd feed you _something_ to keep your interest. We wouldn't want anyone getting bored, now would we?

It was brought to my attention that I fucked up the names of Judy and Trudy so in this part I got them right. Yay! So enjoy.

* * *

"So, uh, what's going on here?" asked Inez when they reached the reservoir.

Judy leaned against the railing and sighed, "As you can see there's nothing there. The water is all gone."

"Yeah," said Trudy, "And if there's no water in the reservoir then there's no water in Sensible Flats and if there's no water in Sensible Flats then—"

"All right, we get it," said Matt.

"Well," said Judy, "That's where Hacker comes in. People here are leavin' in droves and Hacker's buyin' up all the land."

"Yep," came a voice from the ladder coming up the side of the reservoir. It was a man, about six feet tall, shaggy blonde hair and shirtless chest gleaming with sweat from a hard day's work, "And if we don't find out what happened to the water then this place will be left for a ghost town."

"Hey, Rudy," said Trudy.

"Hey, cous'. I heard y'all were up here so I decided to see what was going on."

"We just tryin' to find out what happen to all that water," said Jackie, "Any suggestions?"

Rudy wiped at his forehead with his handkerchief, "Well, the water usually levels off at about the eighteen meter mark, but after a while I noticed the level getting lower and lower until it reached the level you see here."

"You mean nothing," said Inez.

"Damn right. There ain't nothin' left but those small puddles."

"Did you check for a leak?" asked Matt.

"First thing I did. Nothin' out of place as far as I could see."

Inez sighed and wiped some sweat from her brow, "Do you have any records of water levels?"

"I'd reckon so. Twenty-five day's worth."

The seven of them made their way down the ladder to a small shack a few meters away from the reservoir. It was a dusty old place with a large bulletin board in the back with a bunch of papers tacked to it.

"See here," said Rudy as he pointed to the paper mass on the wall, "All the records." He ripped off one of the sheets, "The day Betty-Lou's husband left her for another man the water level was seventeen meters."

Judy ripped off another one, "On the day of the ale festival it was at sixteen."

"It was thirteen the day Bubba died of the plague," said Trudy.

"So?" said Inez, "That doesn't tell us a damn thing about the timeline. What were you thinking?"

Rudy smirked, "Don't get your panties in a twist, lil' girl. I got the dates all right here on my calendar," he ruffled through a few papers on his desk and pulled out a wrinkled calendar with a picture of a half-naked woman on it, "See, days one through twenty-five."

"How we gonna get all those things into a presentable format?" asked Jackie.

"Easy," said Matt. He winked at Rudy before continuing, "Line graph. We used them in Biology."

"We can use the side of the tank to mark it," said Inez.

Again they trooped back out to the reservoir, lowering themselves down into the pit. Digit spread his wings and lifted into the air waiting with a Sharpie marker for his orders.

"Okay," said Inez rolling her eyes at the stupidity of it all, "What was the water level on day one?"

"Let's see," said Rudy, "Day one: eighteen meters. That was the day the McGreggor's farm burned down to nothin'."

"Eighteen, huh? Surprise, surprise. It always starts out with the norm..." complained Inez.

"Whatever," sighed Digit and he put a black circle over the eighteen meter line.

"Day two: seventeen meters," said Rudy.

"And the third?"

Rudy thought, "Oh right. That was the day I..." he stopped speaking and looked around, "Eighteen meters."

Matt raised an eyebrow, "You what?"

"Nothin'. It's nothin'. Eighteen meters."

"No, really. What?"

"Boy, you keep pryin' the closer I am to hurlin' somethin' at you. Got it?"

Matt raised his hands in defense. They rattled off more numbers, dates and odd occurrences until they got to day twenty-five.


	5. MattxInez Parody

Okay, so it's been a while. Sorry. I got kind of sidetracked writing some original stuff for fictionpress. And thanks to fucking summer reading...ohhh how I loathe thee...glare.

This is a parody of a Matt/Inez paring for Grand High Idol. I hope you like it even though it's short. And finally I think my writer's block is beginning to lift.

* * *

They had just gotten back from sensible flats and Matt was so happy to be in air conditioning that he could almost cry. He was sitting in the recreation room exhausted and still hot as all. As wonderfully reliving as it was, it wasn't reliving fast enough so he decided to take his shirt off. 

Inez watched from the doorway as Matt (in her view) rid himself of the piece of clothing in a slow, seductive manner making her mind burst with ideas and her groin shiver with sensation. Matt leaned back on the couch and stretched, arching his back upwards and moaning in satisfaction. Suddenly he turned his head towards Inez who was standing in the doorway. He smiled.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" a blush bloomed across her cheeks as she turned to leave.

"Sorry for what? Come sit with me. Company is nice once in a while," he said, completely oblivious to the fact that him being shirtless had a sexual effect on females.

Inez shuffled over to the couch and sat down. She tried to avert her eyes from the sweaty god, but only succeeded in blushing harder. Matt thought it was cute and smiled.

"So what's up, Nez baby?" he asked. Inez hated that name he gave her, but she could stand it because it gave the illusion that they were a couple which she desperately, desperately wanted.

"Matt..." she trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"I—I'm sorry I said those mean things to you...back in Sensible Flats."

Matt laughed, "It's okay. My stupidity acts as a morphine for my indignation."

Inez looked up into his eyes, "You're not stupid."

He waved a hand in her face, "You don't have to pretend."

"But you're not. You're smart. Very smart. Smarter than me, even. I'm just a dumb, petting little girl."

Matt snorted, "Okay, now you're crossing the line between flattery and impossibility. The day anyone is smarter than my Nezzie is the day hell freezes over."

"Aren't you Jewish?"

"It's just an expression."

Inez blushed even harder and looked down into his lap, "Well...thank you."

"Hey," he said and lifted her chin toward his face, "Did I ever tell you that you have the most incredible eyes?"

"No they're not. They're just brown."

"But they're the most incredible brown eyes I've ever seen. Like an ocean of chocolate."

"Matt...I...I..."

"You what?"

"I love you. I want to be with you forever. I want you to hold me close and never let go. Oh! I love you so! I love your hair, your eyes, your godly, gleaming chest of pure eroticism! Oh god! I love you so much!"

Matt stared wide eyed into hers and let them fall slightly to her chest and back up to her eyes, "I never knew you felt that way..."

"You hate me, don't you? You think I'm disgusting! I'm so dumb for ever thinking you could return my love!"

"That's not true. I don't hate you. You're beautiful, not disgusting. You're the smartest person I've ever known."

"Does that mean...Does that mean you..."

"Yes, Inez, I love you, but..." he averted his gaze from her's, "I've been too scared to tell you," he looked back into her deep, deep chocolately orgasmic _orbs_, "I want to hold your breasts to my chest as tight as I can and ravish your full, rosy lips in a never-ending kiss. I lie awake at night thinking of you—oh! Must I go on!"

"No! Take me, you fool! Take me now!"

They made love on the couch that night completely unaware that the whole thing was being filmed by Digit who had every intention to sell it on ebay.

* * *

Please note that the use of the term "orbs" is not serious at all and that I would not use that loathsome term anywhere else. 


	6. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Four

Okay, a little bit of warning to the readers. In Buzz and Delete's first appearance later in this chapter you'll find that they are quite a bit more serious and morose than the rest of the characters. In my mind this humorous story is starting to form shudders a plot. I'm sorry to those that are disappointed by this. I can't help it, it's a curse. A lot of it is starting to be based on romance, but I'll die before I let this story slip from humor. And I'll die, come back and die again before I let go of all the monstrous violence I have planned. Fear not! Hilarity shall ensue!

Unless there's a scene with Buzz and/or Delete. Then it'll probably be touching/romantic/sad/angsty/cute. Of course I just gave a way a pairing which goes against one of my toughest rules of fanfiction, but you'll find out soon enough, right?

XXXXXX

"So...uh...What do you suppose...?" asked Rudy.

"Um...I'm not rightly sure..." said Judy.

"Don't look at me," said Digit.

"There must be a pattern somewhere," said Matt.

"Make room," said Jackie, "I'se gotsta pace."

"Pace_orzs_?" Matt put in happily.

"_Shut_ up," said Jackie and smacked on the side of the head. "Damn white boys..." she muttered as she began to pace. "Now let's see. The water lever reached zero over twenty-five days," she paused, "The first day being the most and the last day being the—"

She stopped suddenly when she felt a hand pressing against her chest. She looked up at Inez who was looking extremely irate and rubbing her temple. "Please," she said, "Don't insult my intelligence."

"What do you mean?" asked Digit.

Inez retrieved her hand before Jackie could slap it away and stared at the dumbfounded group. "Don't tell me you can't put it together." More blank stares. "Look. Something happened on the seventh day to make the water level begin to drop."

"How do you figure?" asked Trudy.

Inez was very close to smacking them all very, _VERY_ hard, "Digit. Lift."

Digit did as she told him and grabbed her around the waist. He lifted her up to the sixth day mark and she pulled out a pointer. Smacking it hard against the steel wall she began to yell, "One, two, three, four, five, six. Six. Six days. The water level was fine for the first _SIX DAYS_. Understand? Then..." she instructed Digit to lower her to the seventh day water mark, "...The water level. Not so good. Low around the SEVENTH day."

The group nodded in realization.

"Honestly, it's like working with trained apes," Inez muttered as Digit lowered her to the ground.

"So what happened around the seventh day to make the water level drop?" asked Matt.

"Well," said Judy, "Come to think of it, that fleabag _Hacker_ showed up around that time."

"Think he could be the culprit?" asked Matt.

"Gee, ya think?" asked Inez.

"Well," said Digit, "Let's go find out."

XXXXX

The lush green garden was filled with cherry blossoms and exotic plants and the fountain was running sending a soothing hum around the area. The sun was directly overhead, but it went unnoticed to Buzz and Delete who were seated next to one another on a stone bench underneath a cherry tree in full bloom, holding hands.

"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" asked Buzz.

Delete sighed and leaned his head against Buzz's shoulder.

Buzz looked down at him, "Is something wrong?"

"...I don't know."

"Did you take your medication today?"

Delete nodded.

"Do you feel any better than you did this morning?"

He nodded again.

Buzz reached down and brushed a few strands of stray hair from Delete's face, "Maybe you just need to rest."

"No...it's not that. This just...doesn't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right?"

Delete turned his head downward and squinted his eyes shut, "The air...Something bad is coming. Hacker isn't going to like it."

"Do you think we should tell him?"

Delete looked up and nodded, "Just so he can keep a good lookout."

XXXXXX

"So you want me to pull up all sensors, lockdown and shut off the water supply based on a _feeling_?" asked Hacker as he leaned back in his chair.

Buzz nodded.

Hacker sat there looking at the two of them for a moment before he turned to Delete, "All right. Delete, I'm releasing the helm to you. Go on full lockdown and monitor the area. Buzz, get the best gun in your arsenal and wait on top of the ship. Contact me if you see anything coming," he got up to let Delete begin his work.

"So you believe him?" asked Buzz.

"The boy's never steered me wrong before. I'll be damned if I ignore his obvious foreshadowing now."

"And what about you?"

"I'm going to the gate," he grinned, "To greet whomever pays my little paradise a visit," he grabbed his coat and whipped it around his shoulders as he marched off the bridge.

XXXXXX

There you have it, the first showing of Hacker and his minions in my twisted world of Cyberspace. What do you think? Sexy, evil _and_ smart. What a guy.

Review if you feel the need to!


	7. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Five

The wind was whistling over the fields picking up dust and dead plants. _It's quiet_, thought Buzz as he stood on top of the Grim Wreaker, _It's very pleasant._ He watched as the decorative wrought iron gates were blocked off by thick steel walls and the small, red, tube-like sensors popped up along the perimeter. Anyone would be a fool to challenge them here, but all the same...

He saw something in the distance. He reached up to his ear and pressed the button on the communicator.

"I see something," he said, "Seven of them, all on horseback," he focused his eyes, "One of them is well-armed, three of them have small firearms and the rest are unarmed. They're approaching quickly."

_"Good work,"_ Came Hacker's voice from the other end, _"Keep your gun trained on them, I'll leave the communicator on. Don't fire unless one of two things happens. I give the signal or a fight breaks out. Unless I clearly state otherwise. Got it?"_

"Yes, sir."

Now there was nothing to do but watch and wait.

XXXXXX 

Hacker stood at the gate smoking a cigarette. It was a filthy habit, he knew, but an addiction was an addiction and he didn't feel like buying any of that gum crap. He heard the hooves approaching. He stamped out the butt and waited as he heard the horses stop and the riders get off. He stepped back about ten feet watching the solid, steel gate with interest.

A loud blast sounded tossing pieces of metal every which way around the green paradise and as the smoke cleared Hacker saw the outline of seven people, one holding a very large and menacing gun.

"It seems I have visitors," he said humorlessly.

"Damn fucking straight," said Trudy as the smoke dissipated. She re-charged her bazooka and aimed it at him.

"Well, well, if it isn't the insane law patsie and the whore. And oh look, you brought your moronic, inbred cousin along too."

"Inbred!" bellowed Rudy, "I'm fucking hot!"

"Yeah," said Hacker, "That's a result of the inbreeding."

Judy's face contorted in anger, "Fuck you, Hacker."

"Oh, dear, dear. I seem a might overpowered here. But then again," he smiled slightly, "You're not the one with a bird's eye view and a well-aimed gun."

"Maybe so," said Trudy calmly, "But neither are you."

Hacker grinned, "Touché."

"Okay, okay. That's enough. Can't we just get this show on the road?" said Digit as he came into view.

"Oh! Well if it isn't the lowest scum of the earth. Always playing the negotiator. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Fuck you."

"Is that all you hair-brained idiots can come up with?"

"Hacker," said Judy, "You're under arrest for stealing water from the reservoir."

"Am I now? Do you have any evidence to back up your claim? Or maybe just a gut feeling perhaps?"

"We've been having...issues since you got here. Evidence enough for me."

"But, my dear. I have stolen no water. I received the same amount as anyone else. Nothing."

"That's impossible. What about all this?"

"It's recycled. I have extra cash to put into those kinds of things."

They looked at him skeptically, "Go check if you'd like," he turned to Jackie, "My lady," he bowed slightly and pointed towards a tank against the wall hidden by large bushes. Jackie scowled at him, but walked over taking a peek over the edge, "Well?"

"There ain't no water in here," she said disappointedly. Hacker straightened and smiled triumphantly.

Trudy glared at him, "I know you're up to something."

"Really? Well I guess you'll have to put that aside for now and work with the facts. And the facts state that I've done nothing wrong."

"Yeah," muttered Inez, "Of course you didn't infect Motherboard."

"By the way," asked Matt, "How is it that you knew we were coming?"

Hacker looked at him and smiled, "Bright one aren't you?"

"Not exactly," said Jackie only loud enough for Inez to hear.

"Well, maybe you have a traitor amongst you who told me all about it," he stared pointedly at Digit.

"I've had enough of you, bastard!" Trudy dropped her bazooka and pulled her katana from insider her robes. She charged at him only to be blocked by Hacker's sword.

"_No guns_ then," he said loudly.

"Maybe for you, fucker," she shoved him a few steps backwards. Again she charged at him, but she missed and was forced to dodge Hacker's blade. Their swords clashed once more, but neither backed down. Sparks were flying from the clenching blades and Trudy's normally white face was filled with red. Hacker, however, remained amazingly calm. He took notice of her weariness and unfocused demeanor and began to overpower her with a long, crooked smile on his face.

"I feel sorry for you blood line. Your sister's a whore and half-assed cop, your cousin is a laborer who can't even spell his own name properly, you hang out with traitors and undereducated patsies and now your only claim to fame is about to be distorted because you lost to one criminal. How sad for you."

"SHUT UP!" she shrieked. She grabbed the revolver from her holster and whacked Hacker across the face with the handle. He stumbled backwards, but before Trudy could aim her gun, Hacker already had his nine millimeter trained on her, the smile gone from his face and blood running down his cheek.

The seven of them froze as Hacker spoke, "The whole time you've been here I've been too polite to point out that you've destroyed private property _and_ that you're trespassing. At this point I'd like all leave before I have you arrested."

"Come on," said Inez, "Maybe he really _is_ innocent."

The six of them turned around to leave with the exception of Trudy who gave him one last glare before she got on horse and rode behind the others.

"I guess I'll have to add three to new faces to my 'to kill' list. What do you think, Buzz?"

He heard a heavy exhale from the communicator, _"Why didn't you let me kill them?"_

"It's not time for that yet. Soon, though. It would've been too easy and I want those three new soldiers to get some experience under their belts before we meet again. Then I'll kill them."

_"How do you know they're Motherboard's soldiers?"_

"Because," he turned and began to walk back towards the ship, "I always know."

XXXXXX

I wasn't too happy with the way I wrote this chapter but I don't know why. The action in it seemed half-hearted and quick. Then again, I've never written an action scene before so you'll have to bear with me. ;

This chapter was a bit darker than the others, but this is the first fight scene and real fight scenes are rarely comical. I guess this story will just kind of flow with the genres and make no sense. But hey, you already knew that.

Remember to review if you find that you have a certain need to do so!


	8. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Six

Ah-hahahaha...yeah. I'm a slacker, okay? All right, here's the deal. I've put some real thought into drawing pictures of what the characters in MY version look like so you BETTER DAMN WELL LIKE THEM. Um...you don't have to...just don't tell me how bad they are.

I've never actually seen someone do this so I feel like I'm breaking some sort of unwritten rule of NO PICTURES ALLOWED. Well...that's just me being paranoid. If you don't like the way I do things then complain to the person next to you and not me.

So, if you want to see them then go to my author information thing. I'll put the links there.

* * *

Trudy sat at the table in Rudy's shack downing shots of scotch. "That bastard..." she muttered. 

"Come on," said Judy placing an arm around her sister's shoulders, "Don't let it get to you so much."

Digit sat down next to her, "Yeah," he said putting his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. Trudy turned a harsh glare on him and he let go immediately.

"I know," she sighed, "But I just hate him so much! I know he did it! I _know_ it!"

"But right now we don't have any proof," said Inez.

Matt looked up at her, "You don't really believe he's innocent, do you, Inez?"

"Of course not, but like I said before, we don't have evidence."

"Move yo asses, cuz I has gotsta pace," said Jackie whipping her braids over her shoulder, "And white boy, you say one thing to me and I'll pop a cap in yo ass."

Matt put his hands up in defense and leaned back against the table.

"Lezee. From one day to the next the water level dropped...so."

"So if no one was taking more than their share," said Inez, "Then the less had to be coming in. See, reservoirs _store_ water."

"So how does water get in there in the first place?" asked Matt.

"Well, usually through some sort of pipe line..."

Judy squinted in thought, "I 'member back when Trudy and me was youngins there was a pipe line that was built 'bout five miles east 'o here. It leads all the way up to Lost Lake on top Davies' Hill, but no one's been up there in years because there ain't never been a need."

"I guess we're headed to Lost Lake then, girls," said Matt, "I bet if we follow the pipe line we'll find what's been going on."

XXXXXX

Delete sat with his legs dangling off the edge of the cliff and a parasol draped over his shoulder. He watched quietly as the three cybersoldiers rode up to the base of Davies' Hill.

"Buzz," he called. The taller android hopped down from the ledge above him and landed silently at his side, "They're coming."

Buzz raised his gun and aimed at Matt's head, but Delete's hand forcefully lowered his weapon.

"Hacker told us to observe, not kill," he said. Buzz sighed and tucked his weapon into his shoulder holster.

XXXXXX

CRASH!

"What was that!" yelled Matt as he clung desperately to his horse on the way up the steep slope.

"Your mom," said Jackie. Inez sped up taking the lead as they neared the top.

Ominous banjo music began to reach their ears and they inched closer and closer to the top of the pipe line. Matt shivered. This was just like every horror movie he'd ever seen. As they came up over the hill Inez was the first one to see the huge gaping hole in the ground, but no source for the banjo music.

"There's a shack over there," said Inez pointing to the small log building at the other end of the peak. They began to walk towards it.

"That is not a _shack_, little lady, that's my home," came jolly voice. The three cybersoldiers twisted their heads every which way looking for the owner of the voice, but only heard the banjo music continue to waft eerily over the dry peak. "Down here."

Slowly they got off of their horses and crept to the edge of the crater only to find that it was in fact not a crater at all, but a lake. Nearly dried up by the looks of it. At the bottom they saw a tanned, slender man with long, shabby white hair swimming in what was left of the water.

"Boy, are you nekkid?" asked Jackie in a "tisk, tisk" tone.

The man smiled, "Why not? It's breezy, comfortable and I can't even remember the last time anyone came up here."

"Mm, mm, mm," Jackie shook her head, "don't the people down there _drink_ that water?"

"Oh, relax, miss. The water goes through a purification system before it touches anyone's lips. Why? Would you drink straight lake water?" He turned on his stomach and dove down underwater. It was a few minutes before he surfaced again whipping his long, wet hair out of his face, "So what brings you folk all the way up to the top of my lonely mountain?"

"We're investigating what happened to all of the water that gets transferred down to the village. The reservoir is all dried up."

"Hmm... Tell you what. I'll get dried off and we can talk more about it over a cup of tea," he swam to the shallow part of the (for lack of a better term) puddle and walked the rest of the way to the now dried, cracked earth. Jackie and Inez shielded their eyes as the man got out revealing his full figure while Matt, on the other hand, watched with fascination as the man wrapped his wet hair in a bun and began to climb up the rope ladder. "I don't care if you look," the man chuckled as he waved a hand at them, "Come on into my house, it'll only take me a few minutes to get dressed."

Sheepishly, Inez uncovered her eyes only blush after being nudged in the side by one very happy Matt. She glared at him, "Shut up." She grabbed Jackie's arm and led her into the log cabin because she had refused to take her hands from her eyes.

"_Nasty_," she muttered quietly.

"Just sit down at the table and I'll be with you in a minute," they heard the man call as they entered. The cabin was pretty bare except for the essentials like a bed and a small kitchen area by the fireplace. There was a very nice mahogany table in the middle of the room and what appeared to by a winged-chair in the back corner. There was a back door to the house through which they could see the man fussing about with the clothes line. They sat down at the table and waited for him to come back in.

"Ah, fresh clothes. Is there anything better?" he asked as he walked over the fireplace to get his kettle.

"That's very kind of you, but you really don't have to make tea," said Inez.

"Please, miss, what kind of host would I be if I did not?" He walked over to the sink and began to fill the tarnished pot.

"You're very polite for hermit," said Matt petting the small cat that had jumped up onto the table.

"_Matt_!" hissed Inez.

The man laughed as he placed the pot on the hook over the fired, "It's quite all right. I'll take that as a compliment, Matt."

Matt blushed slightly at the sound of his own name. The man approached the table and sat down across from him. "The name's Zeke. I look after the lake."

"I'm Inez and that's Jackie," Inez said pointing to Jackie who was leaning back in her chair and had her arms crossed. She scowled at him, "Um...I suppose she's playing the 'bad cop'."

"So it's an interrogation is it?" Zeke laughed, "So be it. What is it you want to know?"

Inez sighed, "Well—"

"If you look after the lake then WHY the _hell_ ain't there no water gettin' to the reservoir?" Jackie blurted out.

"_Jackie_!" she turned to Zeke, "What she means is, what happened to all the water? There's nothing in Sensible Flats."

"I'm not sure myself. If there's water in the lake then there should be water in the reservoir."

"Yeah, but there _isn't_."

Zeke got up when he heard the whistle sound from his kettle. "The only thing I can think of is that there might be a leak in the pipeline. But even that won't matter in a few days."

"Why not?" asked Matt.

"Because we haven't had rain in months and the water from the lake is almost gone. All the animals left this place a while ago and the last of the fish died last week. Now not only will there be not water in Sensible Flats, there won't be water up here either which means, in all likelihood, I'll probably have to leave. That town's only hope is rain and _lots_ of it."

"What about you?"

"I like it here, but It's easy for me to pick up and move on."

Jackie stood up and looked out the window at the lake as Zeke placed the mugs of tea on the table, "Thank you," said Inez.

Jackie stared out at the bottom of the dried up hole where she saw the opening of a tube. The pipeline.

"What about that?" she asked pressing her finger against the glass in its direction. Zeke followed her gaze.

"That's the end of the pipeline. It takes the water down to the town." He stopped for a minute, "What if you followed the water flow from inside the pipeline? Maybe you'll find answers there."

Inez nodded, "Wonderful idea. Finally, some _good_ leads in this case. _Unlike those stupid hicks..._" she muttered under her breath. She looked down into her mug, "Um..._after _we drink our tea."

Matt looked down into his also, "Damn, what's in this stuff? This is better than any tea I've ever tasted."

Zeke smiled, "My own special blend. Crayfruit extract, Follah leaves, and..." he took a sip from his own mug and winked, "Mm. A little bit of rum."

Jackie walked back to the table and grabbed her mug tipping her glass to the ceiling.

"Oh! No, you really shouldn't...it's boiling..." Zeke tried unsuccessfully to stop her.

Jackie slammed the empty mug back down against the table and wiped whatever was around her mouth on the back of her hand. She stared at them all with a determined look in her eyes, "Let's go down the pipeline."

* * *

I don't know about you, but that was the fasted I've ever seen a pot of water boil. - 


	9. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Seven

Hi again. I liked writing this one because it had a bunch of stories going on. I may not be too pleased with the way I wrote it, but I like the idea and that's what counts...kind of. I'm tired.

* * *

"It's dark."

"Yes."

"It's cold."

"Yes."

"It's wet."

"Yes."

"Why we here?"

"You were the one rearin' to come in the first place."

"But...it's dark."

"I believe we've established that."

"And...it's wet..."

"Before you go any further just...no. Stop talking, okay? It'll be better for—OW!"

"Shut the fuck up, boy."

"Lord. Why couldn't Inez come instead?"

"Fine. You want to stand around and complain, go ahead. I'm going to get to bottom of this."

"Um...bipolar much? First of all, missy, I'm not _standing_ anywhere. I'm sitting. I'm sitting on a creaky raft and so are you. Secondly, COMPLAINING! YOU HAVEN'T SHUT YOUR MOUTH SINCE WE LEFT ABOUT HOW _WET_ THE _RESERVOIR PIPELINE_ IS! THAT'S WHAT IT DOES! IT TRANSFERS WATER!"

"Mmkay. First? Shut. Second? Up," Jackie shook her head, "Damn white boys."

Matt sat fuming at the back of the raft. Jackie was _really _starting to get on his nerves.

XXXXXX

Delete lay with his head resting on Buzz's lap. He loved to be like this. Buzz sat back against the rock stroking his lover's head while watching Zeke's cabin intently. The boss had told him to watch the kids so that's what he was going to do.

Buzz had reported every half hour or so and the biggest thing to happen was two of Motherboard's soldiers went down the pipeline. He knew it was bad and had called it in, but Hacker said to keep an eye on Zeke. So on Zeke his eyes stayed no matter how much he wanted to swoop down the pipeline and kill those kids, just to get it over with.

As they lay there, Delete had a sudden change of mood. Now he was bored and wanted to play a little bit so he reached back around Buzz's stomach and pulled his gun from its holster. Before Buzz could stop him he had already aimed and fired at an arbitrary spot in the sky.

A loud bang sounded and Buzz snatched his gun away, "Delete, baby, what have I told you about playing with _my_ guns?"

"That it's hazardous to your health...and to the health of the creature at whom the gun is aimed," he smirked, "I left mine under my bed."

"Also, don't aim at nothing. If the bullet has no place to go it'll just come back down to us and hit some unsuspecting person. And don't make so much noise, we're trying to keep a low profile, remember?"

Delete nodded, "But how do you know I didn't hit anything?"

With a great thud a bright blue bird about the size of a football crash landed three inches from Buzz. He just stared at it and raised an eyebrow at the bloody hole underneath its chin. It was dead.

"Delete baby, you really should stop being scary like that."

Delete laughed and sat up grabbing the bird by the neck and inspecting his handiwork, "You call it scary, I call it lunch. I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday and I'm starving," Buzz watched as his lover pulled out his knife and began to cut up the poor bird, "You want some, sweety?"

Buzz smiled. He loved it when Delete was happy because when Delete was happy he was happy. The only problem was it wouldn't last. He smiled, "As long as you're cooking."

XXXXXX

"What's his name?" asked Inez as she stroked the gray tabby curled up on the table.

Zeke finished pouring another round of tea for the two of them, only this time without the rum. He decided it was best to stay sober even if it took about twenty cups to even feel a buzz. "Tabby," he said, then laughed, "I know, real original."

"It's still a pretty name," she scratched the cat under his chin, "Yes such a pretty kitty, aren't you, Tabby? Yes you are."

Zeke smiled as she continued to pet his cat. It had been a while since he had had company so it was good to talk to someone else.

"So, where're you from?" asked Zeke, "I mean, I know you're from the human world, but specifically. What's your home like?"

Inez shrugged, "Not much, I suppose. I'm an only child, but I love my parents. We're pretty close," she looked up at him, "What about you?"

Following suit, Zeke shrugged, "Like you there's not much to say. I can't really remember my parents and pretty much all of my memories were when I was on my own. I traveled from cybersite to cybersite. I'm a drifter. It's odd, though, because I saw this place here and something in me just never wanted to leave. So I never did."

"How long have you been here?"

"Long time."

Inez finished off her second mug of tea, "Well, how old are you?"

Zeke raised an eyebrow and chuckled filling her mug again when she held it out, "Old."

"Nah, you can't be more than thirty."

Again he laughed, "Well, apparently I can."

"No. Really?"

He nodded. There was a knock at the door and Digit strolled in flushed and somewhat sweaty, "Sorry I'm late. That's one damn steep mountain," he laughed nervously and wiped his hand across his forehead.

Inez leaned back and saw a fourth horse tied out front, "Mmm hmm. That what you call it when you've obviously come right after what appears to be hot, sweaty sex with...I'm going to go with...Trudy?"

Digit looked annoyed, Inez looked triumphant and Zeke look horribly uncomfortable. Digit walked around the table and sat down across from Inez. She looked back at Zeke and smiled, but was slightly disturbed that he hadn't done the same. His eyes were focused like a laser beam on Digit who pretended not to notice. And without a smile, laugh, chuckle or calming tone, the only word Zeke uttered to Digit was, "Tea?"

Digit looked down at the steaming pot, then to Inez's mug, then to Inez, then to Zeke and then back down to the pot, "Um...no thanks."

The tension in the room was so thick Inez thought that she wouldn't even have been able to hypothetically cut through it with a very sharp weapon. There was some sort of history here and she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to know what it was either.

XXXXXX

"**_AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHAHAHHAHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!_**"

They took a breath.

"**_AAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!_**"

They took another.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_**"

"WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" yelled Jackie.

"I KNOW!" Matt yelled back. The wall was coming up fast and he was sure he'd never survive it.

"IT LOOKS LIKE THE TUBE'S BEEN CLOSED OFF!" yelled Jackie.

"THEN WHERE'S THE WATER GOING!"

"I DON'T KNOW, BOY! HOW WOULD I KNOW!"

"WAIT! IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S ANOTHER PIPELINE ATTACHED!"

"WELL, IT AIN'T LIKE WE GOT MANY OTHER CHOICES!"

They pushed as hard as the could and managed to swerve just in time to continue down what looked like a brand new pipeline.

XXXXXX

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuuuuuuuck!_

"Buzz!" Hacker slammed the communicator button harder and screamed again, "BUZZ!"

"Yes?" came his calm voice over the crackly system.

"I want you back here now! Delete! Stay there and keep a _very_ close eye on Zeke! If he does anything suspicious then kill him! Understand!"

Delete came into view and nodded.

"Good. Now get your ass over here, Buzz!"

Hacker disconnected from them and went over to the security sensor screen. A small green blip was making its way from the main pipeline down through his personal and very illegal one. This put a big hit on his plan because he was only one deed away from owning the whole town and that was that sleazy saloon in town. He didn't care much about it, but paper speaks louder than feelings.

Someone was going to be eliminated. He wasn't sure who, but someone was going to bleed for this. His eyes followed every movement of the small green blip. It seemed strange that something the size of a pencil eraser would almost give him a heart attack.

"You're mine now, you little fuckers. I'm done fucking around now. You aren't walking out of here with everything on your body, I can tell you that much."

* * *

So what did you think? Will someone be killed? Was I just too tired to write something else? Will Hacker stop those meddling kids and achieve control of Sensible Flats (um...probably not...)? Will Inez find out what "happened" between Zeke and Digit? Is Delete's recipe for blow-torched bright blue, football-sized bird as good (or bad) as it sounds? Keep reading to find out.

And if you like what you've read so far then please show your appreciation in whatever way you feel works for you and if it just happens to be in the form of a comment then so be it. I like comments...

**_POLL_**: Would you eat Deletes cooking? Yes or no. No further explanation is required, but if you feel it would help demonstrate your point then be my guest. I just thought a little AP would be fun.


	10. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Eight

The rickety little raft crashed against the walls of the pipeline causing its two passengers to emit screams of fear.

CRASH!

"**_AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAHAHA!_**"

SCRAPE!

"**_AAHHHHAAAHAAAHAHHHAAAHAHA!_**"

BIFF!

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE, AREN'T WE!" screeched Matt.

"YEAH!"

_CCCCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!_

"**_AAAAAAAHHHHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!"_**

XXXXXX

"Heh, heh, heh..." Digit cleared his throat, "So, um, Inez. How are you?"

"I'm okay. We're just waiting for Jackie and Matt to contact us on the pipeline situation."

Digit laughed weakly again, "Ah, yeah, that's...um. Nice."

He was trying as hard as possible to ignore the piercing glare being sent his way from Zeke's direction.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea?" Zeke gritted out.

Digit looked nervously at the pot.

Digit's brain: Don't! It's poisoned!

"No, really, I'm fine."

"Um...I'm kind of afraid to ask," said Inez, "But what's going on between you two?"

"Nothing!" Digit squeaked.

Zeke stood up abruptly, "I think I need to get some fresh air." He walked toward the back door and slammed it on his way out.

Digit sighed. Inez raised an eyebrow toward him and cleared her throat, "So what's going on?"

Digit smiled nervously, "What do you mean?"

"Don't try that shit, Didge. It's _all_ over your face."

Digit sat in silence, but Inez refused to relinquish her stare. "Ahhhh. Fine. Zeke and I have a little...history."

Inez glared, "A-_duuuuuuuuuuh_. But what _kind_ of history?"

Digit glared back, "A _complicated _one."

"Oh," she shrugged, "Well, we've got time and our little friend is all a huff so I don't think he's coming back anytime soon."

He leaned back in his chair, "It started a while ago. I was drifting around a little while after..." he trailed off, "Anyway I ran into Zeke in Lanoa which is a pretty skeezey place way out North. We had both come for a little bit of partying and...well...we were both drunk off our asses...and...eh..."

"You had sex with him."

Digit sighed, "Yeah. I had sex with him. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually go for guys, but I was upset, I was drunk, I hadn't been laid in months and he was wearing next to nothing and dancing on the bar...well, you get the idea. The next morning I woke up next to him in a sleazy hotel room and I almost had a heart attack. I got dressed and left him there, but I paid for the room."

"And you thought _that_ would soothe his hurt soul?"

"Look, what was I supposed to do? Wait for him to wake up? And then what?"

"Tell him it was a mistake."

"It all would've ended the same way anyway. He would've been hurt in every scenario I could up with except pretend I liked him and I _didn't _want to do that."

"So..."

"So I guess I should've left right after that, but I saw some sweet lookin' ladies and my hormones went haywire. By some stroke of ill luck Zeke walked into the same bar I had met the women in and he saw me making out with one of them. He got all angry and started yelling and I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't and people were staring so I yelled at him. I told him that I wasn't gay and the only reason I slept with him was because I was drunk and he had a nice ass."

Inez shook her head, "Tactless."

"I know, but _what was I supposed to do_? He was screaming like a banshee! But after I yelled at him he got all quiet and I could've sworn he was crying. I think that man has some sort of bipolar disorder..."

"He seems nice to me."

"Well, yeah, but I suppose under the circumstances...I'm not entirely sure he was sober either."

"You're such a jerk."

"Look, I know I screwed up, but he was acting like a pussy so it's not entirely my fault."

Inez just stared at him.

"Oh god, don't go on a 'you're not righteous!' rant."

She reached for the teapot, "I wasn't." She poured herself some more tea and got up, "And you're wrong. That wasn't complicated."

XXXXXX

Delete watched Zeke leave the shack and sit down at the edge of the lake. His finger was on the trigger, but sulking wasn't very suspicious so he waited.

XXXXXX

Zeke dangled his legs off of the edge of the lake and sighed. He heard footsteps behind him.

"Oh, hello, Inez," he smiled, "I suppose you know now."

Inez took a sip of her tea and shook her head, "I didn't come here to talk about that. Your business is your business," she sat down next to him.

"Then why _did_ you come here."

"Why do I need a reason? Good weather, good company..." she smiled.

Zeke smiled back with all of the warmth and happiness he had had before. The two looked down into the lake.

"I wonder what happened with Matt and Jackie..."

XXXXXX

"**_AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHHHHH!_**"

"WHEN'S IT GONNA END!"

"I DUNNO!"

"WHAT'S THAT!"

"WHAT!"

"THAT OPENING! I THINK WE'RE REACHING THE END!"

The small raft approached the light faster and faster until they were flung from the metal prison into a lush, green garden. The rickety structure splashed into a large pool sending a wave of water over the edge. When the waves settled Matt opened his eyes and looked around at the debris. The raft had come completely apart and Jackie...

Wait...

Where was Jackie?

Matt looked around him frantically trying to find her. He felt something brush against his arm and he looked down to see a braided extension floating in the water. He stared at it for a moment.

"EW!" he shrieked and jumped back sending a few more drops of water splashing over the edge.

"Oh, Lordy..." he heard someone say, "Oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. Mama gonna keel me." Jackie's arm flung over the metal side of the pool from the opposite side and soon she dragged the rest of her top half into view.

"Jackie, you're all right!"

Jackie slapped his hand away as he tried to help her which was somewhat difficult to do when he was floating in the pool, "Boy, of course I'm all right. _Git_ yo hands off me."

Matt held up the stray extension, "Um...I think this is yours..."

"Oh man...do you _know_ how much these cost?"

He pointed to his own blue, gelled hair and sported a "duh" kind of expression, "Do I _look_ like I would?"

"We can't stand here bickering, bitch, we gotta figure out where we are!"

Matt glared and got out of the pool...only it wasn't a pool. It was a water tank. "It looks like someone's been stealing water."

"An' look where we are too," the two of them stood in the middle of Hacker's garden staring out past the plants to a giant metal wall with a huge, gaping hole in it.

"I knew he was lying."

"Boy, we _all_ knew he was lyin'. Shut up."

Matt rolled his eyes, "Whatever. We should probably call the others on the squackpads," he pulled his out and punched in a few number. The screen crackled for a minute, but soon he saw Inez's face.

XXXXXX

"Inez, Hacker _has _been stealing the water. He diverted the pipeline to his own private system."

Inez looked down at Matt's face in her squackpad and nodded, "Okay, I'll tell Digit. We'll go down to the valve and re-open it."

"What are we supposed to do?"

"Just _don't_ confront Hacker."

She turned off her squackpad and looked over to Zeke. "I have a boat you can borrow," he said and got to his feet, "Get Digit and meet me 'round back."

XXXXXX

"Oh, we're in it now," said Matt sitting on the grass next to Jackie.

"In what?"

"Deep shit."

"Oh," Jackie looked down at her hair extension again and pouted, "Why?"

"Remember how Inez told us _not_ to confront Hacker?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I think that plan just went out the window."

Jackie looked up and saw the dark, billowing figure of Hacker coming at them rather quickly. The two got to their feet unsure of what to do.

"Matt, I ain't so sure of what I'm s'posed tah be doin' here..."

Matt shrugged and pulled out a sword, "I don't know. Fight?"

"Where'd you get that?"

"I'm not sure. This story doesn't make much sense anyway."

Jackie shrugged and pulled out a long chain with a spiked ball at the end, "Now that's what _I'm_ talkin' 'bout. Let's do this thang."

* * *

Okay, so maybe that ending was a little...cut off, but I wasn't planning to end it there. It just kept going and _going_ and there was no good place. On top of that I wanted to post something before what few people read this story forget about my lovely story. Just know that...it takes me a while to do anything now a-days. So don't abandon my story! 

The next installment will feature...whenever I'm done writing it! _I'll_ be here, will YOU:shifty eyes:


	11. Monopoly At Sensible Flats: Part Nine

"HYAH!" Jackie swung the chain around her head and straight into Hacker path as he got within reach. He easily dodged it sending it back around throwing her off-balance and caused her to fall over. Hacker continued to charge at Matt and nervously, Matt clenched the handle of his steel blade. He had never really fought before and wasn't sure if he could win now. He raised his sword just in time to meet Hacker's and Hacker jumped back. He spun the blade in his hand and brought it to his front again into attack stance.

Again he charged, but this time Matt leaped out of the way and blocked Hacker's blade that swung outward immediately after he stumbled past him. Matt backed up further. He was beginning to gain his footing, but he was sure it wouldn't be enough to win.

Hacker swung his blade down on his which he blocked sending a resonating clanging sound throughout the garden. Again Hacker swung and again Matt blocked. Again and again and again. Jackie, who had been standing off to the side, began to swing the ball around her head and threw it in Hacker's direction after a peticularly haneous ricochet. The spiked sphere nicked him on the arm and he stumbled a bit before turning his attentions back to Matt as if nothing had happened. Jackie was somewhat put out by this.

Hacker ran toward him and Matt blocked, but Hacker had already figured out his tactics and ran past him, swinging his sword around to cut him on the back. Matt screamed in pain and arched his back forwards as he fell to his knees, dropping his sword. It was over.

Hacker raised his sword again and prepared to swing, to end the battle. "Oof!" he was thrown backwards by that annoying ball and chain. Jackie picked up Matt's sword and stood between them as Hacker struggled to his feet.

"Ain't no body gonna ignore me and gets away wit it."

Hacker spit blood out onto the back of his hand and sneered at her, "Stupid girl."

"What you say? Ain't no one gonna insult _my_ intelligence and gets away wit it!"

But he had stopped listening and began to charge at her with his sword held tilting back to the left at his waist, ready to swing. Jackie stayed put one more second and jumped back letting Hacker's swing go unmet. He growled.

"You're just delaying the inevitable."

"Boy, you sound like every bad cartoon my brothah watches on Saturday mornin'."

He charged again, but found himself subdued by Matt's outstretched foot in his path. He fell forward but rolled to meet Jackie's pitiful swing, but didn't have time to counter Matt who jumped on his back. He wrapped his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck, making Hacker drop his sword in an attempt to wrestle Matt off of him. Jackie came at him again, but he was too quick for her even with the extra weight.

Matt stopped paying attention to the world around him, it was as if everything was in slow motion. He squinted his eyes closed and kept on squeezing his limbs around the writhing body. He felt his heart pound in his chest, beating against Hacker's back, the rhythm lulling him into a feverish state. The blood throbbed in his ears muting all sound around him. He didn't hear Hacker's groans or the splashing in the water tank or Jackie screaming at him to watch out.

By the time he realized what was going on, it was too late. The pain in his leg seared as the blade slid through his flesh like butter, as Hacker tried desperately to make him let go. Matt jutted forward into Hacker's firm back, screaming from shock and pain. His heart began to beat faster and his muscles went into convolutions as again he was penetrated by the sleek blade burying itself deep within his flesh.

His arms finally released him and his eyes opened wide to see himself falling backwards onto the ground. He had never felt such pain. He stared at the sky, but only for a moment before his mind snapped back to reality and reality was Hacker sitting on his chest, asphyxiating him, sending all his weight down upon him. Matt gasped arching his back against the intruder. Hacker, face calm and placid, reached down and wrapped his elegant hands around Matt's slender neck, slowly tightening around him, keeping him in his firm grasp. Both pairs of eyes locked on one another's. Matt struggled wildly beneath him, grabbing and clawing at his arms, bucking upwards against him. If he could, he would scream. Hacker looked down on his victim with an almost content expression, patiently killing his prey, taking his time.

Choking, gasping, writhing, grasping. He began to feel heavy all over and slowly his aggression became less and less as his body settled underneath Hacker, allowing him to finish him off. They stared at one another. One's eyes full of anger while the other's was full of curiosity and fear. Again the blood throbbed in his ears, making it only him and Hacker on the field. The pain and anguish flowed through him mixing with his sensations of excitement and fear. Both stimulating forces mashed together causing him to arch his back and scream out with every ounce of energy he had left before it was gone. The weight had lifted and the white in his vision began to clear giving way to sky. Air rushed into this lungs and he gasped and coughed as his body writhed, and turning over onto the grass he vomited. He sat there hunched over for a minute before wiping his mouth and looking around. Inez was helping him to his feet and he looked over at Hacker fighting back against Jackie and Digit.

_Bang._ The sound resonated in Matt's plugged up ears as he saw Hacker fling back to the right. Digit shouldered his rifle and Jackie ran toward him only to be thrown back by Hacker's unbeatable strength. He reached into his belt and pulled out his nine millimeter. He shot at Digit and there was a bloodcurdling scream as Digit dropped his gun and collapsed on the ground. He held his hand up to his face.

"My fucking finger! You fucking shot off my fucking finger!"

There was an absence of blood on the purple android's hand, but there was some blue liquid oozing out accompanied by sparking wires.

Hacker spun around wildly looking at all four of his opponents. "This isn't over. But don't feel too accomplished, after all I'm greatly outnumbered," he glowered at Matt before wiping the blood and sweat from his forehead and ran towards his ship.

All four of them gave great heaving sigh. There was no way they were running after him.

"Digit are you all right?" asked Inez as she helped Matt over to the other two.

"ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT? HE SHOT OFF MY FUCKING FINGER, OF COURSE I'M NOT ALL RIGHT!"

"Don't be so dramatic," coughed Matt, "You can easily get that repaired by Dr. Marbles."

Inez looked over at him and poked at the bruise forming on his neck.

"Fucking shit! Don't _do _that!" he squeaked out.

Jackie snickered, "Boy you gotta lighten up."

"_Lighten up_, right," he hissed out, "I almost got fucking killed."

"MY PRECIOUS FINGER!"

"Well, you're not dead so that's a plus," said Inez.

"OH GOD! I'M GOING TO DIE!"

"Gee, thanks for you concern."

"Anytime," Inez patted his back and felt blood, "Oh shit. We should probably get you to town. There must be someone who can patch you up."

"WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING FINGER?"

"That can wait."

Jackie nudged the purple digit lying in the grass, "That's gross, man."

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" he grabbed his pinkie off of the ground and held it close to his chest, "MY POOR FINGER!"

"Let's go," said Inez. Jackie dragged Digit off of the ground and the four of them headed to town.

XXXXXX

Hacker collapsed in his chair on the bridge.

"Sir, what happened?"

"What does it look like happened?"

Buzz placed his black bag on the ground and reached in pulling out a pair of large tweezers and a roll of gauze. Hacker took off his coat and his shirt and Buzz began to inspect the damage in his right arm.

"The bullet isn't too deep, I should be able to get it out."

He delicately stuck the tweezers into his arm and began to feel around for the bullet. Hacker showed no notice to the pain he was in as Buzz dug deeper and deeper into him. He wasn't worried, Buzz was good with medicine.

"Where's Delete?" Hacker asked.

"He's returning now. He said he had some good news."

Hacker sighed and closed his eyes, placing his head against the back of his chair, "I really need some of that right now."

Buzz sighed as he pulled out the bullet, "Our water supply has ceased, sir."

"I know."

"And the people are seizing control of their old homes and businesses."

"I know."

"They'll probably come here to try and drive us out or worse."

"I know."

"So we're abandoning our attempt at domination of Sensible Flats?"

"Do we have a choice?"

XXXXXX

"This is bad," said Rudy. They were all in Judy's office at the saloon while Matt was getting patched up by one of Judy's whores who happened to be rather skilled in the medical area. Everyone else was gathered around the large oak desk mulling over recent events.

"How bad is it?" asked Trudy.

"Well, the water level's remainin' steady. If we don't get rain soon we'll dry out anyways."

"What about Hacker?" asked Matt from the couch in the back of the room. He hissed as the young doctor cleaned out the gash across his lower back. The boy muttered his apologies.

Judy sat up in her chair, "I don't think there be much else he can do 'round here. He's as good as thwarted. Our main issue right now is what's gonna happen if we don't get rain."

"Then I suppose there's nothing more we can do except hope for the best," said Inez.

The room fell silent with the exception of Matt hissing in the background, accompanied by Digit's whimpering.

Matt looked down at the slender hands wrapping around his waist, gently applying the bandage. He smiled. "You have very small hands," he whispered.

The boy nodded, "That I do, sir. They are quite nimble as well."

Matt twitched oddly at the implications and went back to his silence.

When he was done he stood up, "Is there anything else you'd like, Lady?"

"No, that'll be all for now, Daniel. Thank you."

He nodded and walked out of the room.

Inez looked out the window. For a moment she wasn't sure what she was seeing, but then she realized what the ascending black dot was. "Hacker," she muttered.

"What dat?" asked Jackie.

"Hacker," she pointed, "He's leaving."

They all turned their heads to see him beginning to take off. All at once they got up and ran outside as did most of the town's small population.

"He's leaving!" some screamed jovially.

"Hah, hah!" Yelled Rudy and picked Matt up, swinging him around.

"Ow! Jesus, man! Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Put me down!"

He did so and started cheering again.

"Yeehah!" Trudy yelled and began firing her gun at the ship. Soon everyone in town followed suit.

Inez sighed angrily, "Damn hicks..."

As if that wasn't enough to lift they're spirits, the sky grew dark and there was a loud clap of thunder. Everyone fell quiet as they looked up at the cloudy sky. For a moment there was complete silence and then...

_BOOM!_ More thunder and rain started to trickle down from the sky. The townsfolk erupted in screams of joy and songs of praise as once again their town was being replenished. Matt laughed and Inez smiled as the drops fell against her face. It was a good day.

"PRAISE GOD! YEEHAH!" screamed Judy.

Everyone was dancing and singing and even Digit stopped his griping to smile at their success.

Jackie looked up to Davies' Hill and smiled. Inez and Matt looked to see what she was staring at and smiled as well.

"We should probably go and see him. I bet he's ecstatic," said Inez.

"Yeah," said Matt, "He's probably skinny dipping in the lake again."

"Hey, Didge," said Jackie, "come on, we're going up to see Zeke."

Judy turned around, "Who's Zeke?"

"You know," said Inez, "The guy that lives at the top of Davies' Hill."

"I don't know what you guys're talkin' 'bout, but we don't know any Zeke."

Digit smiled, "I guess not. We're going to duck out for a few hours, okay?"

She nodded, "All right, but come back. We're gonna have a banquet."

" Zeke would like that," Matt said to Inez, "I'm sure we can get him to come."

She nodded. "Let's go."

XXXXXX

"Zeke!" Yelled Matt as they arrived at the top. He walked over to the edge of the lake which had risen slightly, but Zeke was nowhere to be found.

"I guess he's inside," said Digit.

They walked over to his cabin and opened the door. He was lying on the table.

"I guess he's sleeping," said Jackie, "Hey Zeke, man. Time to wake up. It's rainin'."

He didn't move.

"Zeke?" Inez walked over to him and shook him. He still didn't move. Slowly she picked him up off of the table and rested him against the back of the chair.

"Oh god..." said Matt. He turned around and put his hand over his mouth.

Digit waked over to him and inspected the bloody bullet hole in his forehead. Zeke's mouth was still open and his eyes had rolled into the back of his head. "Jesus."

Jackie walked out of the cabin slamming the door on her way.

Slumping onto the floor, Matt began to cry silently. He had never seen anything like it, never seen death. Zeke was their friend.

"Hacker," growled Digit.

XXXXXX

"You had good news for me?" asked Hacker as Delete entered the room.

"Yes sir. I have eliminated Zeke."

Hacker looked at him, "And how does this effect anything?"

Delete stepped forward, "Retribution, sir," he said quietly, "He was the one that led the agents of Motherboard to the pipeline. I supposed that if you couldn't have the children I'd at least get you some form of revenge."

Hacker said nothing.

"I thought you'd be pleased," his voice was even quieter.

Buzz stared at Hacker.

"I am. Quite so. Thank you, Delete."

XXXXXX

The four of them buried their friend at the top of Davies' Hill. It was his favorite place in the world and now he could be there forever. As the freshly laid soil mingled with the falling rain, the cybersoldiers stood around the grave in silence. They were all soaked to the bone, but they didn't care. The rain ran down their faces in drops to a point where you couldn't tell who was crying. Which was good for Digit as he bowed his head, letting the sparse tears fall onto the grave. He hadn't told the young man, but he never hated him. Their confrontation was a front on his part to hide his fear. He cared deeply for Zeke, but as a brother. He was one whom he considered a friend.

There was no more good they could do there except say goodbye. Matt stabbed a wooden cross into the soft earth of the grave, placing heavy stones around it to keep it standing. Slowly, the four of them began to walk away from the grave. Inez gathered op the big tabby cat in her arms which they had newly dubbed Zeke II The Master Of The Universe and turned her back to her new and old friend.

So then they rejoined the town below and sang out praises with the rest of them, but never forgetting the young man who laid to rest at the top of Davies' Hill.

MONOPOLY AT SENSIBLE FLATS: END

XXXXXX

I know, I know. It was a quick ending, but I'd like to get on to the other episodes. I'm sorry about whacking Zeke, but I wanted to do something sad. It was hard for me too, trust me.

So the next one I'm going to write is... I'm not sure yet. But I'll get it. And yes, Zeke II The Master Of The Universe will be their pet throughout the story. He's a cool cat, isn't he? I'm thinking that everyone will call him Zatmotu for short. An acronym with a vowel stuck in there.


	12. Pilfering In Poddleville: Part One

Hello! Yes, it's been a long while, but why beat around the bush? I'm lazy. Simple and plain. Anyhoo, here I bring to you the next episode that is (incidentally) not the next episode in the series. In case you haven't figured it out yet, these aren't really in order. I'll try my best to go from older once to newer ones so don't yell at me, okay? Not that...anyone...did...

On to one of the original episodes that actually came before the last one I did which wasn't actually the first episode in Sensible Flats, but who cares? It's not supposed to makes sense.

SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF.

Yeah, it's the one in Poddleville with the crazy jazz music and somewhat witty references. There's a bit more far out too, but...I'm rambling.

And now I present to you...

* * *

**PILFERING IN PODDLEVILLE**

Buzz and Delete crouched behind a rather large bush which was, oddly enough, the color pink. Why was it pink? They weren't sure. Perhaps it was a lapse in the evolution of plants, perhaps they were spray-painted by the inhabitance of the village to give their absurdly angular scenery even more absurdity, or perhaps the bushes just liked being pink. Whichever way it was, they made excellent cover for the two men with a mission. A mission of DOOM.

"Delete," whispered Buzz, "Do you remember what we have to do?"

Delete nodded quickly and continued to stare out from behind the bush at a Poddle trimming her hedges. "Steal pods."

"Yes, but—" but Delete was all ready gone. Slowly Buzz checked his surroundings and followed in his wake.

The Poddle was humming a jolly tune in minor and was rather into it so she didn't hear the almost inaudible steps of one young android approaching the carriage where her precious egg lay. Carefully, Delete lifted the egg marked with an odd triangular shape out of its silk and satin and began to walk away.

But there was a rest in the mother's jolly tune, a rest in which she heard the ever so slight and almost non-existent sound of something. A rustle of the hedge? The creaking of the carriage? The scraping of a newly disturbed blade of grass? The Poddle's pupils dilated to slits as she spun around just in time to see the white-haired _demon_ making off with her child. Her mouth opened in an ugly, frightening, unpleasant sneer that showed two rows of pearly white-enameled teeth. There was a sound coming from her throat that made Delete turn around. It was a most disturbing sound almost like a combination of a cat's guttural growl and a circular saw hitting stone. It made Delete's blood run cold.

Without another moment's hesitation the Poddle pushed off of the ground hard with her muscular legs and leaped at him. If it weren't for Buzz's intervention, Delete's head would've been taken clean off by her razor sharp claws.

BANG! _Thud_.

Smoke rose from the end of Buzz's shotgun as the Poddle woman lay on the ground. Slowly he walked up to her. There were several bloody holes in her chest and her arms were twitching.

Delete looked on with an expressionless visage.

"She's not dead," said Buzz, "It was just rock salt. She'll be out for a while, though."

Delete looked up at the tip of her triangular prism home.

"You really should be more careful," Buzz looked up at him, "_Okay_?"

Without a word, the young man raised his arm and pointed to the tip of the Poddle home as it twisted into a spiral and collapsed in on itself. Soon after, the whole structure came down in a pile of rubble.

"It's a good thing that almost everyone's out at Sunday worship or we would most certainly have been spotted by now," Buzz took Delete's arm, "Come on, we better leave."

Delete nodded and they walked away.

XXXXXX

With a great crash, Matt and Jackie landed hard on their asses while Inez rolled gracefully onto her feet. She raised an eyebrow and dusted herself off.

"Damn, girl! Where you learn ta do that?"

"Aikido," she said simply, "My mother makes me take it. She thinks I'm going to get jumped. She's a rather paranoid woman, actually."

"Yeah, that's very fuzzy, but can we get back to WHERE THE HELL WE ARE?" said Matt in a less than dignified tone as he got up in a less than dignified way.

"Yeah," said Jackie, "And who da _heell_ build these houses? Could someone explain da function a dees ta me?"

"It's called '_culture_', jackass," Inez gave her a once over, "And I'm positive you know what _that_ means."

Jackie put her hands on her hips and swiveled her head a bit, "And what's _that_ supposed ta mean? Is you_ instinuating_ somethin'?"

"The word is _insinuating_ and yes. Yes I am."

"A—"

"Just shut up. Both of you," said Matt, "We need to focus on where we are and what the fuck we're supposed to do here."

Inez put a hand to her chin, "Well, it almost seems like the houses repeat themselves."

"Really?" asked Matt, "Yeah I suppose they do. Oh well, that can't have any standing in the future plot line at all, now can it. Should we continue?"

Inez burst out in bitter laughter and then sighed unhappily, "Don't tell me that the theme of today's adventure is 'patterns'. I bet it is. Just watch."

"Fine," said Jackie, "Just stop being so _sarcastic_. You can even have a big 'ol 'I told you so' if ya want, but fo' now I think we need ta focus on da task at hand."

"Jackie? On task? I think I'm liking this new side of you."

"Yeah, whatevah. I just wanna get outta this place, it gives me da creeps. It's so...Jane Jetson meets Martha Stewart..." she shivered.

Matt looked around, "And since Digit decided to ditch us for a 'personal day', we really need some input from Motherboard," he grabbed his squackpad, "YO! WANNA GIVE US A HINT! COOOOME OOOOOON! WE'RE IDIOTS WHO CAN'T DO STUFF ON OUR OWN!" There was silence for a moment before the...bush started glowing. Matt sighed, "I swear to god, I didn't smoke any pot this time, honest!"

"Don't blow a gasket," said Inez, "We see it too."

Suddenly, before anyone could speak, the weird glowing bush started to make creepy dinging note sounds.

_Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong._

Then there was this weird squealing sound and the _bongs_ started again.

"It sounds like Motherboard is trying to communicate with us," said Inez.

Then the pattern of sound started again, only this time it was accompanied by numbers on the fritzie TV-snow surface of the bush.

"Hey, look," said Matt, "The numbers go 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8 and then there's a blank. I suppose we're supposed to figure out the next number in the pattern."

"It told—"

"Not _now_, bitch," said Jackie. She wagged a finger in Inez's face before turning back to the bush, "We need to figure out the next number."

"I all rea—"

"Shut up!"

"You idiots! I all ready—"

Matt snapped his fingers in her face, "Uh, uh, you shut up like da girl says."

"_Excuuuuuse me?_" Jackie raised an eyebrow at him.

Matt laughed and turned back to the bush, "Okay, we—"

"THRITEEN!" screeched Inez, "THE GODDAMN NUMBER IS THRITEEN!"

They both stared at her and suddenly the number _13_ appeared in the blank on the bush. With a loud ringing sound the white static was gone and a swirly ivory image appeared that seemed almost to take the shape of a person.

"Motherboard?" asked Matt.

"I TRIED to tell you I knew the answer," said Inez, "but _noooooo_."

"Oh, shut up!" said Matt and Jackie together.

"_CHILDREN, PLEASE..._"

"Sorry, Mother B," said Jackie, "Go on, sweetie, what's up?"

There was a pause, "SWEETIE?"

Jackie shrugged, "Sorry..._please continue_."

Inez shook her head. As far as she was concerned they were all idiots.

"_ANYWAY... YOU ARE IN PODDLEVILLE._"

"_Poddle_? What kinda fucked up name is dat?"

"_THERE IS TROU—TROUBLE IN—THERE IS TROUBLE IN PODDLEVILLE. BOTH BUZZ AND DELETE HAVE BEEN STEALING PODS_," Motherboard got out. Her image was shorting and speech scrambled.

"What are pods?" asked Inez.

"_HACKER IS AFTER PODDLEVILLE'S CYBER POWER. WITH ALL THAT EXTRA ENERGY, HACKER CAN DESTROY THEIR WORLD_. _I'M RELYING ON YOU THREE TO _**STOP HIM**."

And then, in a great fit of fire and ash, the bush blew up.

"Well," said Matt, "that was unexpected."

* * *

Well, there you have it. I'm sorry it's so late, but I'll try to be better about updating. I'm just lazy. I'm also sorry for the half-assed cybersquad part, especially the end. I'm tired and I just want to post something. I promise the next part will be better, but now my eyes are closing.

Oh, and don't be hating on any errors in this chapter. I didn't feel likeediting it. If you have a problem then screw you.


	13. Pilfering In Poddleville: Part Two

Yeah, hi. I know It's been a while, but having large gaps between updates seems to be the trend here. Are any of us surprised? I know I'm not.

Onto business. I've updated character sketches if you wish to look at them and I'll be putting up new ones every so often even if I'm not updating the story so check back every once in a while.

Now onto our tale.

XXXXXX

Matt, Jackie and Inez cautiously approached the large gate to the Town Hall. It was noon and all of the Poodles were called from worship to an urgent town meeting hosted by the mayor to discuss the current situation.

"Get behind the bushes," whispered Matt. The three of them gained cover just in time as a Poddle couple came into view. The female had long tentacle-like strands covering her head that were pulled back into a long pony-tail. She walked with her head held high and alert, eyes darting from bush to bush as she clutched the handle of her baby carriage where her unborn egg lay still. The male next to her put a scaly hand on her forearm and squeezed it slightly. He said something softly and she relaxed, nodding as he smiled down to her and approached the small panel to the left of the gate. He touched the screen twice and there was a loud dinging sound as the gate opened. They walked in.

"What da hell was dat?" asked Jackie. She crossed her arms and glared at the panel.

Matt squinted slightly, "I think it's a secret code to open the gate."

"Then we must crack it," said Inez, "come along before others show up. It looks like most of the town is in there all ready."

"You do dat and _I'll_ look fo anothuh way in," Jackie ran off.

"I guess it's you and me," said Matt. He smiled slightly.

Inez rose her eyebrows and nodded slowly, turning her undivided attentions onto the panel. She looked it over. There were nine squares and each had a shape in it except for the last two. "Patterns," she said

"Perhaps..." Matt drew in a square and a triangle with his finger, the two shapes the Poddles had. There was a loud buzzing noise and the panel flashed red, clearing all of the shapes and re-sorting them. The last two boxes were still blank. "Hmm...what if I switched them?"

"I doubt it would work, but I know what we need to do. Put in a circle and a triangle."

"Hmm. I think there's a pattern here."

"_Yes_. Now put in a circle and a triangle."

"It goes: triangle, square, circle, circle, triangle, square, circle, blank, black."

"_YES_. Heavens! Put in the circle and triangle you nitwit!"

"Hmm. Circle comes after circle and triangle comes after the second circle so logically..."

"CIRCLE, TRIANGLE."

"Wow, you're smart, Inez. Although you might want to keep your voice down or they'll hear us."

"I swear..."

Matt put in the shapes and the panel flashed green, allowing the gate to swing open.

"All right, we're in," said Matt happily, "But where's Jackie?"

The two of them looked over and saw her crouched down by the fence with a blowtorch, "Almost there, guys. We be in in no time."

"Jackie, we've already figured out the code."

"Just a few more seconds..."

Inez tapped her foot, "JACKIE."

"Almost..."

Matt rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of her shirt, "Let's go, diva."

"But I was almost--!" she looked at the open gate, "Oh," she shrugged Matt off, "spoilin' mah fun...damn crackers..."

XXXXXX

Delete crouched at the top of the fence looking out at the Poddles. There were so many of them.

"Dear, please don't sit up there. Someone might see you."

He looked down at Buzz who was crouching behind a bush on the other side of the fence. Delete looked at the gathering crowd once more before leaping down to join his companion. They sat there for a few moments while the mayor began his speech, they needed the Poddles distracted before they could successfully pilfer their eggs. If they did happen to catch them...well, it wouldn't be pretty.

Delete slipped off his boots and tucked them in his belt. He worked better without clothing restraints. Quietly he began to creep towards the first cart. Buzz stayed stationed behind the bush with his rifle following the crowd very closely. If anyone were to notice, he'd have to take them out as quickly as possible.

XXXXXX

The Mayor spoke with a strength that few others had. He was tall with a smooth head, his eyes mere slits against his slightly scaled green face. Hairless and dark, The Mayor was one of the few surviving pure breeds in their village and was therefore regarded as an important figure. He wore brown and purple ceremonial robes and his necklaces were too many to count. He stood with a certain demeanor that automatically made you respect him and with one word the crowd was silenced and he began his address.

"My people, my friends. I must apologize profusely for pulling you from your Sunday Mass, but I am afraid this is rather important," he paused, "A sweeping terror has befallen our peaceful town and it has claimed many of our young, as well as the well being of five of our prospective mothers." There was a murmur through the crowd. "They were each found severely wounded at the scene of the kidnapping, one has died. Out of the four remaining, only one has regained consciousness and unfortunately can tell us nothing. To add insult to injury, not only are they committing these haneous acts, but with every life they've coveted, our town is falling further into blight, our buildings crumbling. Whoever these people are, they are very skilled in what they do and we all must be on our guard. For all we know they could be amongst us right now..."

Jackie stood far from the back of the crowd with Inez and Matt, the three of them listening to the Mayor's speech, "I says we reveal ourselves now. If we don't, they's might's pin us as the intruders. That could end very bad."

Inez nodded, "You're right. In theory."

"What's you mean?"

"There's something different about these people, they're not like the other's we've met here. They're very cut-off and I'm not even sure they've had contact with many other species. They may interpret all alien races as hostile. At the same time, _they_ could be the hostile ones. We could get ripped to pieces the instant we open our mouths."

Matt nodded, "But then...what do we do?"

"We wait."

"For what?"

"For something to happen. The whole town is gathered here right now, so Buzz and Delete must be here as well if they really want to gather those pods.

XXXXXX

Buzz watched Delete through the scope of his rifle carefully. Surprisingly, he hadn't been caught yet. _Really_ surprisingly since this was a race of hyper-sensitive beings. He had to admit that Delete was good at what he did. He felt a mild pang of guilt.

"_Hurry..._" he whispered.

XXXXXX

The platform began to crumble beneath the Mayor's feet and he leapt off onto the ground just in time for the structure to come down completely. He scowled. _They're here_.

"Poddles! The kidnappers are here! We must find them before they destroy us!"

"Oh shit," said Jackie.

XXXXXX

It was as quick as lighting. Every Poddle dashed in every direction in an attempt to find the culprits. Buzz looked up in horror, he was a sitting duck. He looked back to his scope to find Delete, but he was nowhere to be seen. Shit.

Buzz waddled back against the fence for more cover, inhaling deeply to regain his focus. He could hear the ravenous screams of the angry mothers and it made his blood run cold with fear and worry for Delete. Grasping his gun, Buzz was prepared to run out into Armageddon to find him when he felt a yank on his collar. He was yanked upward and felt the weightlessness of gravity as he fell, positioning for a quiet landing. He stuck it. He looked up frantically. He was back over the fence with Delete standing above him.

Delete grabbed his hand and continued to pull him forward, running as quickly as possible back towards the Grim Wrecker.

XXXXXX

Matt felt his face being pressed into the ground, a large foot grinding into the newly healed gash on his back. He knew better than to complain, though, he just laid there as still as possible. Jackie was being pushed up against the fence, struggling and shrieking something about the black man being oppressed. Inez was in the same position as Matt and had also opted to remain as still as possible.

"We've found the intruders, Mayor," one of the males ground out.

Matt looked up to meet eye-to-eye with the Mayor himself. He suddenly felt very small.

"Oh yeah, we're in some deep shit now."

XXXXXX

Tada! End of part two. I'm rather proud of myself for completing it and I hope those of you who read this haven't lost interest. Well, thassit for now. I'll try to bust my hump on the next one. Promise.


	14. Pilfering In Poddleville: Part Three

Hello, everyone. So again a delayed chapter, but...yeah, expected right? Anyway, your lovely author has actually found a list of Cyberchase episodes in order and sadly I have greatly sent the order amiss. Apparently I opened with episode seventeen and am currently doing episode seven. Isn't that cozy? Please don't kill me, I am but an under-achieving teenager and I will try to tape the first episode (if it ever comes on) and will use that next. Hopefully things will go smoothly from here on in.

XXXXXX

Hacker sat on the bridge of the Grim Wreaker looking over a set of maps of Poddleville. Oddly enough, this wasn't one of his favorite plans ever, but a friend of an associate said that if it was executed properly, Hacker might have as much power as he'd ever need. But it was also apparent to him that something as valuable as The Pod would not be so easily obtained, nor harnessed. This plan was going to be tricky, especially with those damned Cybersoldiers on his tail. After all, he _is _the antagonist and lord knows that the antagonist can't win.

Just as he finished that thought, he heard the soft click of boots and the pitter-patter of bare feet against the tile floor. He turned, "Buzz, Delete. Have you collected the pods?"

"Not all, sir," responded Buzz, "but rest assured we will get them."

"I have no doubt." Hacker stood and placed his hand on his hips, "And yet this is a delicate operation. We must work as quickly as possible. I want no more delays."

"Yes, sir."

"Now, go find whichever pods are left and get over the cyber power reactor vault."

"Yes, sir." He continued to stand there.

"Was there something else?"

"There..._is_ some good news, sir. It regards the Cybersoldiers."

"And? What is it?"

"They've been captured by the Poddles, sir. They believe that they are the ones stealing the pods."

Hacker nodded, "Thank you. Now go."

Buzz turned and walked back towards the door with Delete close behind.

Hacker sighed and sat down again. Perhaps this plan might actually succeed and with that thought he grinned to himself.

XXXXXX

The Mayor swept out of the dungeon leaving Matt, Jackie and Inez alone in their cell. He had arrived to inform them that if they had any hope of leaving the prison alive then they'd have to return the pods they had stolen.

"It's going to be pretty hard giving them back if we don't have them," said Matt.

"Yeah," said Jackie, "And I bet they only thought we stole them 'cause I'm black. Racist hoes. Do I _look_ like I'd steal any pods?"

"Actually..."

"Shut up, both of you," snapped Inez. She seemed rather distraught.

"Hey, Nezzie, got a headache?" asked Matt, "You don't look too good."

"Too _well_, Matthew, and if you ever call me Nezzie again I'll sick Jackie on you."

"Hey!" They both ignored the cry of indignation.

"Oh, my mistake. It _must_ be PMS. Sorry."

Inez stared at him, "You know, that's not as bad of an insult as you think it is. But just shut up, I'm trying to figure a way out of here."

"Impossible." The three of them turned to meet the gaze of a small Podling, "That is, unless you have help."

"How did you get in here?" asked Matt.

"I have my recourses. Now, I believe you are in need of assistance."

"But..." Inez, blinked, "Don't you all hate us?"

"No. They hate you because of tribal prejudice. They follow The Mayor like lemmings and I suppose for good reason. He's a good leader, but our village is isolated and since we're being attacked you can understand how they'd blame the first aliens they see. After all, to most of our people currently, you're probably the first aliens they're seeing in the first place. I, on the other hand, know you did not commit the crime you are imprisoned for."

"Not be seem ungrateful for sympathy or anything, but...how do you know?"

"No one would be foolish enough to stand at the back of a hoard of angry Poddles unarmed if they had a purpose such as theft to accomplish."

Jackie raised an eyebrow, "I'm not sure if that supposed ta be an insult or not."

"Take it as you will, but we must hurry."

"Why do _you_ care so much?"

"Because this village believes full-heartedly that they have the culprits so now they are completely blind to the real invaders. There's no convincing them otherwise. So it's pretty much up to me to stop the real thieves and I figure I should have as much help as I can get."

Inez scratched her chin, "Won't the Poddles come around when they next attack happens while we're in here?"

"They'll think you're in cahoots."

"Well, damn," said Matt, "I certainly hope you have a plan to get us out of here then."

"I do, but that's pretty much it. I have no gift for strategy. We need to come up with a plan before I get us out because when I do they'll come after us and I doubt we'll have much time to plan while we're running."

"Right...so, what were you thinking?"

"Well, all I have to show for research is a list of all of the stolen pods. You seem like functional beings, maybe you could figure something from it."

"Can't do no plannin' yo'self and yet you think you smarter than us, foo. How do ya get that?" asked Jackie.

"Look, I'm smart, but I'm _four_. That and math isn't my strong suit, now could we _please_ get to work?"

"Sure," said Matt, "Let's see what you got."

"_Have_." Inez walked over to the young Poddle and took the piece of paper from him that he had pulled out of his pocket. She read it.

"The numbers of the pods that have been stolen so far of the square kind are: 3, 5, 1, 9, 11, 7," the poddling said, "Of the triangles: 9,11,7, 3, 5. Of the circles: 1, 7, 3, 5, 9, 11."

"Man, that's a shitload o' pods," said Jackie.

"We should just organize them," said Inez. She leaned down to draw in the dirt when Matt grabbed her by the shoulders.

"This is not time for playing in the dirt, woman! We have to form a plan!"

"I'm just _organizing_—"

"We have to contact Motherboard for more help," he got out his squackpad, "MOTHERBOARD! WE NEED HEEELP!"

"She's just going to tell us to organize through patterns."

"MOTHERBOOOOAAARRRRD!"

"Will you shut up?"

"MOOOOOTHEEEERRRBOOOAAARRD!"

"Wow," said the podling, "He really loses it at the drop of a hat, doesn't he?"

"Uh huh," Jackie nodded.

Despite his fellow's ridicule, Matt's squackpad began to glow and a squeaky sound came out: "...t-the...power i-i-i-is in the p-p-p-at-t-t-ttern. The p-p-ower is-s-sss...i-i-in the p-patter-r-rn..."

Inez fumed, "I told you."

"The power is in the pattern. Hmm..." Matt ignored her, "Hmm... Do you suppose that means we should look for a pattern?"

"Must be," said Jackie, "And while you do dat, _I'll_ make us an exit."

"Uh, you don't need to," said the Poddling, but Jackie was too busy wrestling the bars on the window to care.

"So anyway," said Inez, "I think we should organize them to—"

"See what comes next!" finished Matt.

"Well, you were bound to learn something sometime."

"And by looking at them, I'd say they're all odd numbers," the Poddle piped up.

"True. It also seems that there are six circle and square pods, but only five triangular ones."

"Which we could assume means the next pod to be stolen is a triangle," said Matt.

Inez and the Poddle both looked at him.

"What? I can say smart things sometimes."

"Whatever," said the Poddle, "We don't have time for this."

Inez scanned over the numbers, "It looks like the only triangle missing is a one. That's probably their next target."

"So how do we use that to our advantage?"

Matt grinned, "I think I have a plan."

XXXXXX

And that's it for now! I hope you enjoyed it and will continue to stay with me.


	15. Pilfering in Poddleville: Part Four

Yeah, yeah, I've taken my sweet time updating. Mind you, this next installment is made up mostly from vague memory up until the vault scene so you'll have to bear with me (I taped over it with the first episode). So now we continue.

XXXXXX

"Okay. This? Stupidest plan ever." Jackie's muffled groans could be heard from inside the costume.

"Shut up." Matt said through smiling teeth. "We need to make it look authentic."

It was night out and the cybersoldiers were walking calmly down the street. Matt was pushing a rather large carriage with an abnormally large egg in it while Inez and the podling walked alongside keeping lookout.

"Authentic? You got's to be kiddn' me. This costume is ten _times_ the size of the normal eggs, yo. And there is two large eyeholes to boot."

"No one will notice."

"How the hell won't someone notice? This is some bull."

"Trust me, _no one will notice_."

Jackie just muttered in response. Something about why the black guy always gotta do the stupid stuff.

The podling lifted his head slightly. "They'll have figured out you're gone by now. We need to hurry."

"All right," said Inez, "so when they do you take the carriage and run. Matt and I will lead them away."

"Oh no!" Yelled Matt. "It is nightfall and I am all alone carrying this TRIANGLE ONE egg of mine! Someone will surely try to snatch it and would have little problem doing so since I am rather weak with fatigue! What ever shall I do?"

"Yeah, Matt, like Buzz and Delete are going to fall for that."

"That's what I've been tellin' ya'll! This ain't gonna work, it's way too obvious!"

Matt scowled. "You know, I don't criticize _your _plans."

"Yeah, well, ours work most of the time!"

"Just shut up and be an egg. Trust me _this will work_. There's no way it will fail."

"And why is that?"

"Because." Matt grinned. "We're the protagonists."

XXXXXX

"What do you figure?"

"Trap."

Buzz nodded. He couldn't make our their faces, but he could tell by their silhouettes that they weren't Poddles. Well, maybe the little one, but the larger ones weren't. "Still…we have to try."

"Trap. Definitely a trap."

"I know, Delete, but…we have to."

"It's not a real egg, it's ten times the size of a normal one."

Buzz looked at him. "Yeah, _I know_. But…we have to get it…because…we…do."

Delete looked over the shrub at them. "Yes…get the abnormal egg…fall into the trap..."

"Yes…let's…do it. Come on, no time to waste."

XXXXXX

"HALT PRISONERS!"

"GET THE PRISONERS!"

"THE PRISONERS HAVE ESCAPED!"

"Awwww damn. Looks like they caught up."

"Shut up, egg."

"Matt." Inez grabbed his arm. "Let's go."

Matt nodded. "Oh, the noble sacrifice."

"_Come on_."

The two of them began to run towards the guards and the poddle took the stroller and began to run. In the distance he could hear a scuffle. He'd hoped Matt and Inez didn't stand up the guards because in all likelihood they'd kill them. But then the sound began to fade and he thought that they had run away instead. This eased his fears slightly.

The poddle kept running. According to Matt, Buzz and Delete should be showing up soon. And he was not disappointed.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw two tall shapes running towards him. His excellent night vision told him that they were Buzz and Delete so in a flash he ran behind the nearest building. He peeked out and saw that the two figures had arrived at the carriage.

"Yep, triangle one, the only one we need." Said one.

The taller one started to push down the road, but the other lingered for a moment. "What happened to that young podling?"

"It doesn't matter. We're not supposed to care."

"Ah." The shorter one followed after.

The podling got to his feet and silently began to follow them.

XXXXXX

"It looks here like we have to arrange to eggs in these slots to form some sort of pattern to unlock the vault." Said Buzz.

He and Delete had safely arrived at the vault not too long after the caper and were not surprised to encounter such a predicament. On the contrary, what with the pattern of patterns all around them, they had rather expected this kind of thing.

The lock on the main entrance was rather daunting upon first sight. There were six slots in the door, but where Buzz had expected them to be egg-shaped, they were actually tube-like with no support for their irregular shape. And while he found this odd, it was a passing thought.

"How do we start?" Asked Delete.

"I suppose we should try them at random until one sticks."

Delete nodded and handed him an egg.

Meanwhile, Jackie watched quietly from inside the fake egg. _Oh no_, she though. She then felt a tap on the back of the shell.

"_Jackie?_" She heard a small voice whisper.

"_Is that you, poddle?_"

"_Yes._"

"_Well, do you got a plan to get us outah this mess? It looks like Buzz and Delete are on the right track_."

"_I do. There's a back door. Unfortunately there's a lock there too. We'll have to grab some eggs._"

"_Is the coast clear?_"

"_Not yet. You stay in the shell, I'll sneak some eggs out. It'll be easier if it's just me for now. Keep watch incase they get anywhere._"

"_Okay_."

She heard the podling scamper off. She returned her gaze to Buzz who had already tried a few eggs, but when he put them in they just rolled around. They took this quite rightly as a sign that the egg didn't fit.

It was when they put in a square eleven egg that two suction cups from above and below grabbed the egg and held it. There was a pneumatic hiss and a popping sound and the panel above the egg slot turned green.

Buzz smiled. "Hand me another egg. We might get the pattern at two, but it'll probably take until three to really understand it."

Delete nodded and handed him another. It didn't work. They repeated this a few times before another one stuck. It was a circle nine. Again the suction cups grabbed the egg and there was the same pneumatic hiss and another popping sound. This time, though, the egg cracked and began to leak. Jackie began to suspect something foul afoot.

"Buzz…I think that machine accidentally crushed the egg."

Buzz sighed quietly. "There are casualties to every war." He took out a small item from his pocket and began to run it around the egg. Jackie assumed it was a scanner. He took out a small panel from his pocket and seemed a little shocked by what he read.

"Well…it seems it cracked because it was a little large, but what's more…interesting is that it wasn't the cracking that killed it."

"What do you mean?"

"The way the system works is in order to establish that the egg is actually the shape and number it says it is, is it takes a sample of DNA from the fetus directly. See, every Poddle is genetically encoded with their shape and number so even if the egg is altered, you can't change the fetus' DNA. Extra precaution, I suppose."

"So the machine breaks the egg and kills the fetus in order to determine its true identity."

"Yes. And I'm quite sure that it's also set up this way as a deterrent. If anyone in the Poddle community wanted to steal the power for themselves then they'd have to kill half a dozen unborn children to do it. In a pack community such as this, I doubt anyone could even conceive of it."

Delete nodded. "But we can."

"Yes, well, I don't think the Poddles think much about alien invasion. They are easily startled by the mere thought."

Jackie wasn't a sentimental person, but it broke her heart to know that two Poddles were dead for the sake of an evil mastermind's power trip. And it broke her heart even more knowing that it would likely be done ten more times.

She could tell by the look on his face that Buzz was having a hard time with this. She heard him whisper under his breath as he momentarily refused the egg Delete offered him.

_I swore to do no harm._

This struck her as odd. Perhaps he was a doctor? It wouldn't be _that_ surprising, but…odd. He was evil, he couldn't be kind…could he? It was then that she heard the tap on the egg.

"_We're all set. We should go now, the coast is clear._"

As Jackie slipped out of the egg, she turned to see Buzz slowly putting egg after egg in the slot. Each time he winced with anticipation.

XXXXXX

"Well." Said Matt. "Here we are. Back in prison."

"Yes." Replied Inez. "That would seem to be the case."

XXXXXX

The back door was not as grand as the front. It was rusted over and the six slots had button lights above them instead of panels.

"So." Said the podling. "You were there, what did they have so far?"

"A…" She stopped.

"Yes? A what?"

Jackie sighed. "Square eleven."

The podling turned around and picked up a square eleven and slipped it into the first slot. The two suction cups came down, though they were much noisier than the other ones. There was a cracking sound and the light blinked on. Jackie winced.

"Then?"

"Circle nine."

Again he turned to pick up the proper egg, placing it into the slot. The same thing happened to it.

"Now we know what the first two are, but we can't decipher a correct pattern without a third."

"They probably got the third by now."

The podling nodded. "Perhaps I should go keep an eye on them while you put the eggs in."

Jackie hesitated. She didn't want to put any of the eggs in herself, but she didn't want to tell the podling or give away her discomfort. This had to be done for the good of everyone. She nodded to him. "Take a communicator with you, though."

As he ran off she turned back to the door.

XXXXXX

Buzz and Delete were still focusing on the third slot when they heard footsteps behind them.

"Have you gotten the code deciphered yet?" Came Hacker's cool, silky voice.

Buzz spun around with an egg still clutched in his hands. "No, sir, not as of yet. We're still trying, though."

Hacker sighed irritably. "You know I respect you, Buzz, but this is taking far too long for my taste. Get it done." He leaned over and picked up an egg. He walked over to the door and slid it in place. The suction cups came down and the light turned green. "See? Easy."

The podling took out his communicator and whispered to Jackie. "_They got another one. Triangle seven._"

'_Got it_.' Came her reply.

"Now," said Hacker, "I trust you two can continue to do the same again."

"Yes, sir. Now we can figure out the pattern."

"No need, Buzz."

"But it would be so much simpler to just think it through first, sir."

"No thinking. That would take less time."

Buzz raised an eyebrow. "But…isn't that the point?"

Hacker sighed. "In the real world? Yes."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Delete laughed. "The children can't keep up if you think like a real person. But _shhhh_. The breaking of the fourth wall is a BAD THING. We mustn't do it."

"What are you talking about?"

Delete laughed again, but Hacker waved a hand in his face. "Never you mind. Just stick the eggs in. And no solving easy problems."

Doing what he was ordered to, but not liking it, Buzz continued to stick eggs in at random.

XXXXXX

"The pattern…" Jackie mused. "What is the pattern? The numbers are eleven, nine, seven. Hmm. Well, that's obvious, the numbers are odd decreasing from eleven. That means the next one should be a five."

She stopped as she was going to pick one up. She didn't want to be the one to do it. She turned on her squackpad to communicate with the podling.

"Podling?"

'_Yes?_'

"I'm gonna need yah tuh come back. We got enough tuh figure the pattern so followin' close behind 'em won't do it. We need tuh gets there first and that means figurin' it out first." She smiled. _Good excuse_.

A moment later the podling had arrived back. "So what have you figured out?"

"That five is next."

The podling leaned down and picked up a five egg. "It's a place to start at least. Do you want to do the honors?"

"Uhhhh…no. The honor's all yours."

The podling shrugged and slipped the five egg into the fourth slot. The suction cups grabbed it and the light turned green.

"All _right_." Jackie smiled. "Only two more to go."

"The next one is three then?"

"Yep."

The podling picked up a three and slid it into the fifth slot. Nothing happened.

"Man!" Jackie yelled. "Fo somethin' that looks so simple, it sure ain't."

"Actually, it probably is. I think we're just missing a component to the pattern."

"Hmm. I guess I could use the squackpad to contact Matt and Inez." She pulled it out. "Yo, can ya'll hear me?"

The sound was fuzzy, but they could clearly make out Inez saying: '_Yeah, Jacks, we hear you._'

"This pattern is harder to figure than sixth grade math."

'_Now, Jackie, don't be a stereotype._'

"What do you mean? Mah sixth grade math teacher was out to get me. I didn't flunk out oh nothin'."

'_Even still, try to keep that weird southern/ebonics accent you have there straight. It switches more than Matt's feelings on the Bush administration._'

"That's some bullshit, man. That motherfucker just ain't informed."

'_Hey, I heard that. I'm just confused by my parents' conflicting political views._'

'_Okay, enough of this. What do you need help with?_'

"Well, so far we found that the numbers go in odd descending order, but when we put uh three into the fifth slot, it didn't work."

'_Hmm,_' mused Matt, '_Perhaps it also depends upon the shape?_'

'_Yeah, I think he's right. What are the shapes?_'

"Square, circle, triangle, square."

'_Circle_.'

"What, Inez?"

'_The next one is circle._'

'_No time for your babbling, Inez, we need to figure this out._'

'_But it's CIRCLE next!_'

'_Hmmm. Square, circle, triangle, square…circle, triangle?_'

"Makes sense."

'_I KNOW, I ALREADY SAID IT!_'

'_Pfft. Stop taking credit for my accomplishments._'

"Circle three it is." Said the podling. "Thanks, Matt. This really is your day, isn't it?"

'_Heh…yeah._'

'_I SAID CIRCLE FIRST!_'

They all ignored her cries and the podling put the circle three into the slot. Jackie said goodbye to what she knew would be a dead fetus and sure enough the suction cups grabbed it and the light turned green.

She looked at the last spot in the sequence. "That means the last one is…"

XXXXXX

"I have a hunch. Hand me a triangle one." Buzz held out his hand for the egg, but none came.

"Hold on…" said Delete. He rustled around in the pile. "I know we have one."

Buzz got down on the floor too. He turned to Hacker. "Want to help us, sir? It would go faster."

Hacker was sitting in the corner smoking and looking manly. "No thank you, Buzz, I have faith in your skill."

Buzz sighed and kept searching. Then he spotted that abnormally large they had taken last. If memory served, it was a triangle one. He got up and walked over to it, finding that it was indeed a triangle one. It was just…a little too big.

"Perhaps," said Delete, "If we break it open, cut off a piece of what's inside and stick it in the slot?"

Buzz turned to stare at him. He was rather repulsed by what he had just heard, but then became frightened by the fact that Delete had said it with a sort of sadistic smile on his face. He wasn't supposed to enjoy the idea. Buzz thought that he was due for his medication.

"Well, I guess we don't have much of a choice. Go ahead."

Delete picked up the egg with fervor and smashed it against the ground. It split in half, but there was nothing inside. "I though it was a little light…" He said.

XXXXXX

"This a big problem. _I _was the triangle one, remember?"

The young podling sighed. "And we can't go out to find one either because you'd get caught by the guards."

They were all silent in thought for a moment.

"Wait a minute…" Said Jackie. "What are those marks on yah face?"

"Those? They're my shape and number designation."

"Okay, so what are you?"

He shrugged. "Triangle one."

Jackie smiled. "Perfect."

"Not perfect. I'm not an egg, remember?"

"That's okay, they only need a DNA sample."

"What?"

"That's how the machine knew what the eggs were. It takes a sample of DNA from the fetus in the egg."

The podling looked confused. "But doesn't that...?"

"Yes, but this is war. We must stop Hacker at all costs."

He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Matt and Inez were silent.

"I…I knew it. Inside. I could feel them dying, but I didn't know what to think."

"Then yah can't let them die in vain. It's only a matter uh time before Buzz and Delete get a triangle one uh their own, we need to act now."

"But how?"

Jackie took his hand. "With this. It ain't an egg, but the preliminary scanner will pick up traces on your skin."

"Can't that be it?"

'_If the machine checks first and punctures to make sure, then I doubt it._' Said Inez. '_At least, those are my assumptions. The creator of the vault probably didn't want people taking this too lightly. If not to make sure, then it's an emotional precaution. Anyone can bring in skin samples or old shells, but for such a grand power source they probably didn't want to take chances._'

The podling stared at his hand. "Then why would it need eggs? Why don't people just stick their hands in all the time?"

'_Hang on._'

There was a moment of silence.

'_I looked up the vault model. It says that the Poddle manufacture of this item was designed to take infant samples. And according to Poddle physiology, the difference between a fetus and a podling are slim. Poddles reach adult stages and with it the peak of physiological change after twenty cyberyears, but the time between egg and second stage of infancy is six cyberyears. You're four, right? So you're still within the first stage of infancy and are capable of reading as an egg. At least, I think so. To be honest, even if we try it, it might not work._'

The podling stood for a moment, looking at the back of his hand. "I guess we don't have a choice."

He walked up to the last slot and stuck his hand in, waiting for the hit. There was a few second pause in which everyone thought he was rejected when—

"Ah!" A thick needle came down and went in one side of his hand, immediately coming through the other. He was in pain and stuck in the contraption. "Help!"

The light turned green and the vault began to open.

"Help me!"

"Inez, whadda we do?"

'_It says that after testing and termination, the eggs are released and sucked through the tube into a small incinerator._'

"IT HURTS!"

"I know, just hang on."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE SUCKED INTO AN INCINERATOR!"

'_You won't be, just your arm._' At the sound of his hyperventilating, she switched gears. '_Okay, calm down, I was joking. It doesn't release so you'll have to break it. Jackie?_'

"On it." She took a piece of scrap metal that was lying around and aimed for the needle. "Okay, podling, listen. When the vault stops moving , you gots to slide yo hand down as far as it will go. The needle shouldn't be hard to break, but it'll probably hurt. Okay?"

"O-okay."

The vault stopped moving and with cries of agony, he slid his hand down as far as it would go. With one whack Jack broke the needle, but not without eliciting a scream of pain from the podling.

"Stay here." She said. She ran into the vault. There was a huge glowing golden ball in the middle of it and just on the other side was the main entrance. She ran to the other side and opened it.

XXXXXX

"You've failed me."

"I'm sorry, sir."

Hacker stared at him. He grabbed his gun and whacked Buzz across the face with the handle at full force. "And I'm sorry to have to have done that. Just so we're clear, my respect and faith in you are still very much intact. This is just the way I do business."

"Yes…sir." Buzz didn't dare touch the bleeding gash on his face. He stood up straight to meet his gaze. "We'll go search for another triangle one."

Hacker laughed bitterly. "No need. You may not realize it, but you've been foiled by Motherboard's cybersoldiers. If that giant costume is here, so are they. No doubt they've already gotten into the vault and are about to make an appearance right about…"

The vault door swung open and Jackie stood with a heroic pose silhouetted by the glow of the power within. "Sorry to ruin your d—"

"Save it, twerp." Hacker took a single shot at her before escaping without even an attempt to fight back for no adequately explained reason. Probably because the person writing this horrid tale is still awake finishing it at 1:46 am. But that would be breaking the fourth wall and as Delete said: BAD.

XXXXXX

And so Poddleville's power was saved, but not eight of its beloved children. You can imagine the parents of those children were kind of pissed, but mating season was approaching again and soon those ex-mothers would be mothers again. Memorials were built, speeches were given, and the Poddles gave a frosty welcome to the newcomers who saved their town from almost certain contortion. Of course, the death of the young left some places unrepaired, but not for long for the Poddles were a very industrious sort.

Overall the Poddles weren't very happy, just accepting of the situation. The outside universe was forcibly shoved in their faces and the only thing that kept them from starting an all-out war against everyone else (being a very angry species…kind of like the Klingons…not that I know how to spell that, though) was the acceptance of all others by their wise and knowing Mayor who led them from adversity and into a greater tomorrow.

The young podling that had helped the cybersoldiers (to whom they gave the nickname "Tim") was given a hero's reception upon his return to his people and his parents who were before ashamed of his unpoddle-like behavior were now proud to call him their own. His hand was extensively damaged, but nothing Doctor Marbles couldn't fix up right. In fact, he was rather irritated to be called out of bed at four o'clock in the morning to go halfway across the cyberverse just so he could put a few bandaids on some precocious reptile with adorable eyes. To some people's pleasure and most people's grief it turned out that he wore much less in bed than he did on the job…if even possible. It was actually kind of funny, you know with the inevitable child pointing in curiosity and going "mommy, what's that thing he's got there?" and their mother gasping in disbelief, shielding their eyes from such dirty, dirty business. Not that the Poddles wear much themselves, but it's different because they're reptiles for god's sake. But that's not the point, I'm going completely off topic here.

The point is that the second episode ends happily…you know…except for the dead babies.

Pilfering in Poddleville: End 

XXXXXX

The next installment will actually be the first episode so yay! Just so you know, I didn't expect only two episodes to take up so much space. Really. I've got a lot of things planned out for the characters, believe me. Everything is already played out in my head. I know who's going to end up with who and how it's going to end, but to be completely honest, the real fun stuff doesn't come until I've finished at least ten episodes. AT LEAST. Why? Because I'm working with the series being replayed and not just some situation I made up myself. I will integrate my own things into the original story and I plan on things happening GRADUALLY.

Remember, kids, this is more "humor/parody" than "drama/romance". I mean, there's a lot of "humor/romance" and some "humor/drama"…well, I guess it's just a humorous story. Just no angst, I can't stand angst.

Oh, and I finally got around to scanning the last set of updated pictures (which by this point are outdated, but whatever). Now I just need to transfer them through flashdrive to a different computer…then…upload it to deviantart…then…create links on my author page…and…that's a lot of work for my brain at 2:19am so I'm going to go to bed.

End of rant.

Oh, an update. I have now put up the pictures (or will being doing it after I upload this).


	16. Cyberchase For Real! 1

It's been a while blah, blah, blah. Let's get on with it.

* * *

It's Cyberchase FO REALS! 

XXXXXX

Hi, I'm Kareem and today we're looking at patterns. Like me, for instance. See, I'm _not _a pattern because I never show up again in this series whereas the sound of someone beating a cat against the wall over and over again or possibly the sound of the thump of your parents' bed against the wall at night are.

Patterns are everywhere especially the pattern of me getting fired from every job I've ever had which is why you'll never see me again in this series. Nor will you ever see STOMP here. But the funny thing about STOMP is that they create patterns through not being douche-bags like my bosses…I mean, by having rhythmic talent…which I never had.

So I got the chance to meet STOMP, but since I kept insulting them for being high school drop-outs, they kicked me out. I didn't care because I never show up again anyway.


	17. Island of Trepidation: Part One

Maybe some explanation is in order for the last chapter, aka the first Cyberchase For Real! If any of you have ever seen that episode, the "for real" part is completely different from the others because it features a guy named Kareem that you never see again and he visits STOMP to learn more about patterns. It's probably on youtube somewhere…

So now we go onto our next episode, but this time it's the first episode so I'll be leaving out all of the "getting to know each other" crap. I'm crafty, I'm sure I can come up with some filler.

Oh, and I'll try to consolidate the episodes to four or less installments. It makes it easier for all of us, I think. That and I lose track.

And also, there aren't enough Hacker scenes in this episode so I'll be making some up.

**The Island of Trepidation**

XXXXXX

Dr. Marbles swung his machete in a sweeping arc across his body, scattering branches and leaves in all directions. It was hot, it was sticky, and the good doctor hated every minute of it. He liked the sun, but he could not abide humidity and as his long blond strands of matted hair clung to his sweaty, glistening body, he cursed whoever thought it would be a good idea to hide the encrypter chip in a rain forest.

But then he caught sight of it, that little yellow box sitting motionless amongst the twitching bushes not far ahead. This was it, he could feel it. Victory over Hacker was close at hand, all he had to do was reach out and—

"AH!" Dr. Marbles' fingers fell short of their target as he felt himself yanked back by sturdy hands.

"Hello, Doctor," came Hacker's cool, steady voice in his ear. "I would very much like it if you came with me."

Dr. Marbles struggled against him, but he was at a clear disadvantage with no weapon and not fighting skill. "Bite me, asswad."

Hacker grinned and tightened his arm around Dr. Marbles' neck. "We've done that dance before if you'll recall, but right now I come to you for strictly business reasons. Sorry to disappoint you."

Dr. Marbles grimaced. "Whatever, just don't mess up my hair anymore than it already is."

XXXXXX

Inez sat quietly in her room reading a book of questionable content when her mother knocked on the door. "Inez, dear, there's strange person at the door for you."

_Probably something to do with Motherboard_, she thought. "I'll be right down, mom." She got out of bed, but before she could cross the room she fell through a familiar pink portal and vanished.

XXXXXX

Jackie had just gotten her hair done with a red weave when she walked out into the street and tripped on the curb, falling flat on her face.

"Jesus, mothuhfuckah!" she screamed. She slowly pulled herself to her knees and looked three inches to the right. She saw a pink mass swirling on the sidewalk so she sighed and jumped in.

XXXXXX

Matt rolled out of bed and fell on top of Digit.

"Wha? What are you doing in my room, Didge?"

"Ow. I hate to—ow--tell you this, Dorothy, but you're not in that pigsty of a dwelling anymore."

Matt looked around. "Oh…so I guess there's a mission we have to get done?"

"What a fantastic observation. Now could you remove yourself from my person?"

The two of them separated and got to their feet.

"Where's Dr. Marbles?" Matt asked.

"_THAT IS PRECISELY THE REASON I BROUGHT YOU HERE_," came Motherboard's ethereal voice.

"What happened to him?" asked Inez. She and Jackie had just walked in.

"_HE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY HACKER._"

"Yeah, and we have to get him back from the Island of Trepidation before sundown." Said Digit.

Jackie huffed. "Island of Trepidation? That don't sound too invitin'."

"It's not supposed to. It's a terrible, terrible place."

Matt looked a little uncomfortable. "How terrible?"

"Terrible enough for Hacker to stash Dr. Marbles there until sundown."

"What happens at sundown?"

"Death and destruction."

"_THE ENTIRE ISLAND TURNS INSIDE OUT AT SUNDOWN. ANYONE STILL ON THE ISLAND DURING TRANSITION IS DELETED OR…KILLED AS THE CASE MAY BE_."

"What do ya mean by_that_?" Asked Jackie.

"_WELL, YOU'RE NOT OF OUR WORLD AND WILL NOT BE DELETED SO MUCH AS…SLOWLY CRUSHED TO DEATH._"

"Okay. See you guys later, I got me a train to catch."

"_DON'T GO, I NEED YOUR HELP. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME…_"

"Sorry, Mother-B, but I am not riskin' my neck for some nekkid pervert. And besides—"

"Jackie'll come." Inez smiled. "We're all in this."

"What? I never said--"

"Shut up, Jackie. It's not like you know how to escape the virtual world without Motherboard anyway."

There was a pause and Jackie looked over at the glowing orb in the middle of the room. "Is that true?"

"_YES_."

"Goddamit! This is harassment."

"Okay!" said Digit, "Let's get going."

XXXXXX

The three Cybersoldiers (and Digit) stood firmly on the shore, staring out over the vast expanse of the island.

"This is bull." Said Jackie in her usually pleasant manner.

"It's not bull, Jackie, it's sand." Digit grinned at his little joke.

"You best shut the fuck up or Imma pop yo head off, asshole."

Digit laughed.

Inez was not amused. "Seriously, Digit, how are we going to find our way to Dr. Marbles if we don't eve know where we are?"

He pointed at her squackpad. "There's a map on there."

The three of them took out their hand-held computers and looked down at a perfectly vague map.

"This is bull."

"No, it's a map."

"No, really, this is bull. How the hell are we going to find our way with this piece of shit?"

Matt scratched his chin. "Well…it looks as if this island has a number of pretty distinct landmarks. Perhaps we could search for those?"

Inez nodded. "That actually makes sense. Now let's see what we have around here."

Digit sighed. "Nothin', nothin', nothin'—ah yes, there's Skull Rock. It was built by the Ruminain Hoards as a sacrificial site.

Matt looked a little nervous. "As in…human sacrifice?"

"No. Cyborg sacrifice."

"Eeee."

Inez looked down at the map. "There seems to be a skull shaped thing here. So I guess they're the same. And that would put us right here on the beach nearby." She looked around. "Just to be sure, the map also denotes a small inlet that shouldn't be too far from here."

------

So... I lost my tape recorder. There's why I don't have much done here. I was holding off for a while so that I could finish this chapter, but thought that until I find it (which I'm doing actively) I'll just give you this.


	18. Island of Trepidation: Part Two

* * *

I found my tape recorder! Rejoice!

And also I haven't edited this so don't get on my back about typos plz. I just didn't care enough.

* * *

The four of them walked down the beach a small way until they came to the inlet. "All right so now we have our orientation," said Digit. "We know the location of Dr. Marbles so we just need to figure out how far we are from it to get a sense of how long it will take to get there."

They all turned to Inez who was now some ways away even though she was right next to them a second ago. "One-ninety-five, one-ninety-six, one-ninety-seven…"

"Inez?" called Matt. "What are you up to?"

"…one-ninety-nine, two hundred." She stopped and faced them. "Two hundred!"

"Two hundred _what_?"

"Paces! From the inlet to Skull Rock!"

Digit nodded. "All right. Now what?"

"Now you need to measure the distance on the map!"

"WHAT?"

"NOW YOU NEED TO—for god's sake—ONE SECOND!" She ran with gusto back to the group. "Here," she took a few breaths, "see this line?" She dragged her finger from the inlet to Skull Rock on Jackie's squackpad. A line appeared. "That line there is approximately two hundred paces." She took a few more breaths. "Now measure how many it is from here to Dr. Marbles…god I need to work out more."

Digit did the same on his pad as did Matt.

"So if that length goes in about eight times," said Inez, "then that means Dr. Marbles is about 1,600 paces away."

Digit looked down at his watch. "Well what are we waiting for, meatbags, let's go!"

They walked into the jungle. The air was hot around them, the sun still high enough to beat down on them with ferocity. A short distance seemed to take forever to trek and before long, Matt had already clocked out.

"You lazy ass!" Jackie yanked up from where he fell. "It's only been five minutes!"

"I don't care, I'm not built for this."

"You live on a farm, crackah, what the hell you do all day?"

"Don't call me cracker, it's racist and hurts my feelings."

Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Matt, we need to get to Dr. Marbles, who knows what awful things Hacker might've done to him," said Digit.

"Can it be worse than sticking him in THIS hellhole?"

Digit nodded. "Believe me, I've seen him do MUCH worse. I should know, I worked for him."

"You what?"

Inez looked over at him in surprise. "You never told us that."

Digit for the first time since they'd known him looked sincerely grave. "I know, I don't like talking about it much. I did some…pretty awful things. If I hadn't left I don't know where I'd be today."

"But I thought Dr. Marbles created you."

"He did…"

"Did you have some sort of teenage rebellion and join Hacker?"

"Not really…it's…complicated."

"That's what you said about Zeke. It seems like no matter where we go you've done something with someone," said Matt.

"Can we just get on with our mission please?"

Jackie, Matt, and Inez all looked at one another, but said nothing. They walked in silence.

XXXXXX

"You better get going if you want to get off this island in time."

Hacker looked up at Dr. Marbles. "And you're worried about my safety? How cute."

"Fuck you, you know that's not what I mean. Why the hell are you still here anyway? You have me locked up tight."

He got up from the lawn chair he'd placed in front of the steel cage and grinned. He sauntered over to him and knelt down. "I just like watching the sweat roll down your body, Addison."

Dr. Marbles' head snapped up to meet his. "Don't you _ever_ call me that. You have absolutely no right."

Hacker smiled. "And here I thought I had every right. You know, ever since that night we spent together on the observation deck…just you, me and a bottle of cheap vodka."

"That was a long time ago."

"It was. And I could understand your unwillingness to own up if it had ended there, but it didn't, did it?"

Dr. Marbles remained quiet.

"Then there was that dinner at Zero One Zero Café. The food was terrible, but the sex afterward was one for the history books. Wouldn't you say?"

Indeed, Dr. Marbles said nothing.

"Or perhaps you might recall the eight months of similar nights after that? No? Then maybe you remember that gift you gave me. The last one you ever gave me."

Dr. Marbles looked at him with distaste, but then smiled resting his back to the bars behind him. "Clever, Hacker, quite clever, but you'll not break me by bringing up that stupid turkey of an android."

"So you do remember."

"But of course."

"For a moment there I thought you'd gone senile."

"I'm not letting you off that easily."

"It appears not."

They stared at one another for a moment.

"I wonder, Marbles, is there any spark left?"

Dr. Marbles leaned forward, nearly pressing his nose through the bars. "You and I both know the answer to that. You never did have a heart and it's absolutely certain that you never will. As for me, our time together is best left in the past. I've moved on to better things, better people and you, I'm sure, did so long ago. Just not with the better part." He leaned back. "Now leave me to my fate, Hacker. I tire of these games."

Hacker stood up and stepped back. "My dear Marbles, I'm afraid they've just begun." He folded up his lawn chair and began to walk towards his ship in the clearing. "Now I'm afraid I must leave you to your thoughts. Sunset will come soon, you'll not need to wait long."

* * *

Wow, it's been a while. I wrote this section a while ago and was debating whether or not I should upload the Hacker/Marbles conversation bit. I wanted to keep things subtle, but I've already deviated from my original intent with this story so fuck it. I'm tired of dragging this out and I'm sure you are too. I'll just pick episodes of interest now. I'm also going to try to eliminate multiple chapters per episode and write them as one. That won't happen for a while since finals are coming up and all, but for those of you who still read this just know that I haven't forgotten about this story. I'm just incredibly lazy.


End file.
